Following my discouraging disability hearing yesterday, I yet felt weight move from my shoulders, down through my hands. I had my husband brush the negative energy down my arms and out my fingertips. Sleep was spotty with blurred edges.
This morning I woke up at my usual time, about 7 am, and had a cup of coffee. As I looked through news articles and saw what was trending on Twitter, my eyes got heavy and that’s a sign I am going to sleep very soon whether it fits plans or not. Lying back down in bed, I slept for a bit more than four additional hours.
After waking, again, and having my second cup of coffee a bit after noon, my body started talking. It felt as though all my pain spots were shaking their fists at the psych expert from the hearing yesterday, yelling, “Oh, yeah? We’ll show you!” Fortunately, they took turns, a few at a time. From the top of my head to the arches of my feet, moderately severe pain punched back at the notion I’m not debilitated by all my physical and mental pain resulting from years of illness. My body systems seem to mostly quieted down, but I do feel like I could go right back to sleep at 5:00 in the evening. And I just might.
Experience with hangovers has, repeatedly, schooled me in how to deal. Knowing relief is on the horizon does give one a lifeline when the cause is alcohol. Such certainty does not apply to a fibro flare.
Nevertheless, I am so relieved to have the hearing in the rearview mirror and thankful to be rid of the stress I couldn’t talk myself out of beforehand. I told myself I wouldn’t give the hearing or its outcome a thought, and I expect my plans to brush the notice of the ruling out of my mind, giving it none of my time or energy, will be just as successful. Lifey life. Cheers!
SurvivingSara 