Falling. Falling. Falling. Vertigo, loss of balance, leg weakness, trembling, tripping, collapsing, losing my place in space. Bumping, bruising, knocking, whacking, breaking. This past week, I got out of bed around midnight to use the bathroom. After taking a few steps and feeling unstable, I stood still. Planted both feet flat on the floor. Still,Continue reading “Who Dat?”
Tag Archives: depression
What Do I Owe?
Tough. Feeling rough. In my head, “I just don’t care. I’m over it, don’t want to do this.” For the record, I’m not thinking about ending my life. I don’t care enough about it to take action. At the end of September last, I was hopeful a medication change would provide some relief, even aContinue reading “What Do I Owe?”
Whoop, There It Is
Warning: This post includes discussion of suicide. If you need help, call 988 to speak with a mental health professional right now. This tattoo was a symbol of choosing life when I committed to my first real ink art in November of 2021. Suicidal ideation has been a close companion daily for many years, andContinue reading “Whoop, There It Is”
This Is It
In some cases, the difficult questions do eventually cul-de-sac into answers, whether we like them or not. One of my most challenging quests has been to find relief for my fibromyalgia. Is there anything out there that will address the whole enchilada? The answer has become quite clear. No more wondering or searching. This chronicContinue reading “This Is It”
‘We wake up and take the indicated action.’
Christina Applegate has multiple sclerosis. She’s had it for a while. In an article, (link below) she spoke briefly about her experience since being diagnosed. The quote above shares a perspective of one of her M.S. friends. “…It’s been a tough road. But as we all know, the road keeps going. Unless some a**hole blocksContinue reading “‘We wake up and take the indicated action.’ “
Searching for Peace
Caution: Frank discussion of suicide. If you need help, call 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to speak to mental health professionals. She danced and traveled. She was an accomplished psychiatric nurse and author. A searcher, she was seeking answers, solutions, alternatives. She provided support, encouragement, friendship and love to more people than we’ll ever know.Continue reading “Searching for Peace”
Ashley
Sensitive post w/discussion about suicide. My friend & fellow blogger, Ashley Peterson, isn’t with us anymore and I’m so damn sad. She befriended me in my early blog days three years ago. She (I don’t want to use past tense) was amazing. Her website is mentalhealthathome.org. She wrote posts and books, did movie reviews, sharedContinue reading “Ashley”
Hopeless
After completing the difficult transition from one fibromyalgia medication to another, my doctor and I had a virtual follow-up appointment. I absolutely LOVE virtual visits from the comfort of my home. This one, though, was quite discouraging. I’d read that many people react to this new med right away but some take a few weeksContinue reading “Hopeless”
Fibro & More Fibro
In the midst of transitioning from one fibromyalgia to another, I am feeling fibro. The fatigue is very heavy. Use of muscle relaxer and/or a med to take for nausea cause extra tiredness so, of late, I’m very reluctant to take either because it just lays me out. Not having much, if any, response toContinue reading “Fibro & More Fibro”
F*cking FU%K
Yes, home remodels are notoriously late & over budget. I get it. Huge misunderstanding, though. I believed I had Alex the tile guy until my job was finished. No, if tile comes in on another job he’s doing for my husband, he’ll spend three or four days there. I know, what’s three or four daysContinue reading “F*cking FU%K”
Countdown 3-2-! & More
Okay, my new bathroom tile will not look like this. Can you imagine? For my in-home spa (a very small en suite bathroom), I’m going for ‘serenity now & a laugh.’ But guess what, people! The tile setter is here working today and as many days as it takes! Not sure why, but approaching myContinue reading “Countdown 3-2-! & More”
Sigh
Contents of the bubble above is ll I got. Checking in but don’t have energy or brain ability to write. Breathing. Hope all is well with you. Thanks for reading.
I Got Plastered & More
Hallelujah! My bathroom got some walls! I told the tile guy I’m not as excited as I was three months ago when demo happened. He assured me that’s the way it is, a pain in the ass. So, there’s that. As work begins in there, I realize the new bathroom is going to be smallerContinue reading “I Got Plastered & More”
The Last Ramble
Today’s the day. My mother-in-law moves into our daylight basement this evening, at least her bed. When they get here, my husband has to get the bed set up because we don’t have anywhere else for her to sleep. Tomorrow, an entire U-haul will be emptied into the limited space downstairs. In the face ofContinue reading “The Last Ramble”
Rambling Along Alone
Warning: discussion of suicide
Side Effects of Rambling
In this period immediately preceding the move-in of my mother-in-law, I’ve occasionally recorded, here in my blog, the thoughts I’m having and the implications of this new living arrangement as they’ve come up for me. I share my feelings with my husband, whose most common response recently is, “I don’t think it’s going to beContinue reading “Side Effects of Rambling”
Got the Pic! & Need to Ramble
In an earlier post, “This Joint is Jumpin’,” I told readers I would try to get a picture of the birdfeeder in my backyard when it’s busy. This is quite the challenge because if I’m outside, the birds hide. As soon as I come back into the house, feeding resumes. So, I managed to getContinue reading “Got the Pic! & Need to Ramble”
A New Porpoise & a Bit of Rambling
“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of others” – Charles Dickens Puzzling recently about my purpose in life, established in the mid two oughts. [I still don’t know how to address the first decade of our century. The 80’s, 90’s, and 00’s in writing but what about when one isContinue reading “A New Porpoise & a Bit of Rambling”
No Can Do
Even the tooth fairy must get tired. I’m in fibro flare. It’s been the worst painI’ve experienced since I broke my leg. Typing isn’t conducive to relaxing neck and shoulders. I know this sounds weird, but I think of you every day. I’m excited when I see repeat visitors and I recognize your names. GotContinue reading “No Can Do”
Torpid
lethargic · sluggish · inert · inactive · slow · slowmoving · lifeless · dull · listless · languid This here is a short tutorial on what it feels like to be engulfed in fog brain for whatever reason, fatigue, illness, fibromyalgia, depression, etc. Imagine it’s a clear day until your plane is suddenly surrounded by clouds, any view obstructed. Duration unknown, thickness of whiteness varying, and someone else at the controls. NotContinue reading “Torpid”