Who Dat?

Falling. Falling. Falling. Vertigo, loss of balance, leg weakness, trembling, tripping, collapsing, losing my place in space. Bumping, bruising, knocking, whacking, breaking. This past week, I got out of bed around midnight to use the bathroom. After taking a few steps and feeling unstable, I stood still. Planted both feet flat on the floor. Still,Continue reading “Who Dat?”

Merry Christmas ’22

Despite not finding this holiday season very merry, I do wish for others an abundance of love, belonging, comfort and cheer. Whether with family or friends, hopefully you have a warm day, literally and figuratively. I’m unwell, we didn’t decorate because the year of remodeling and mother-in-law moving in have exhausted all of us. WeContinue reading “Merry Christmas ’22”

What Do I Owe?

Tough. Feeling rough. In my head, “I just don’t care. I’m over it, don’t want to do this.” For the record, I’m not thinking about ending my life. I don’t care enough about it to take action. At the end of September last, I was hopeful a medication change would provide some relief, even aContinue reading “What Do I Owe?”

An Early Gift for Me

Maybe read the post, “Fair to Middling, Cinderella to the Ball,” published on May 25, 2022 for background. Some of my readers may remember the work banquet Wolf and I attended last spring, for which I overprepared, and the review of said event involving one of my husband’s coworker’s wives. We’re calling her Debbie. InContinue reading “An Early Gift for Me”

This is the New Loo!

If you’ve been following along, I am happy to present my remodeled bathroom! Still lighting and electrical to address but I am now using my beautiful little spa. First a look back at “before.” My tiny box of a shower hiding behind that partial wall, a dark, low-ceilinged closet. Now, beautiful tile, higher ceiling, grabContinue reading “This is the New Loo!”

Parent is Also a Verb 12/5/22

LESS IS MORE, I PROMISE! When my children were young, they were given many gifts. When you take into account grandparents, aunts & uncles, mom & dad and, of course, Santa; the number of presents under the tree seems to increase exponentially as Christmas nears. Little ones are teased by the accumulation. When can weContinue reading “Parent is Also a Verb 12/5/22”

Watching the Machinery Break Down

Can you imagine how proud the farmer pictured was? This equipment was built in 1938 and looks like it’s of good use. Would you expect that piece of machinery to be running still in 2022? If you could get the engine started, its performance, if any, would certainly not compare with the earlier years. MyContinue reading “Watching the Machinery Break Down”

Parent is Also a Verb 11/28/22

Candy canes and popcorn chains Ribbons and bows with pretty boxes below What does your Christmas look like? Do you have family traditions from your childhood you’re now incorporating into the individual, couple, or all-in-with-kids Christmas you’re designing? Or not. Intentionally free of those reminders? Hanukkah? Kwanzaa? Doing your own thing? I propose that havingContinue reading “Parent is Also a Verb 11/28/22”

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thankful. Receiving blessings. Acknowledging what’s good and right in our lives. I am most thankful for my family and friends, Their love sustains me. I am grateful for our dog, my constant companion. Having food to eat, a warm house, operating vehicles, medical insurance, a comfortable bed, and a safe neighborhood make me one ofContinue reading “Happy Thanksgiving!”

What Would You Like?

Caesar, chef, spinach, chopped, taco, spring…..salad! I love some good greens as a side or as the meal itself. How about a store-bought garlic roll requiring just a couple minutes in the microwave? You must pick one salad and one brand of rolls. Do you want to eat those two foods over & over &Continue reading “What Would You Like?”

What’s Up, Doc?

All right, readers; I’m going to do my best to to write about anything except fibromyalgia, depression, or suicide in the coming weeks. Those that follow along will know I’ve been preoccupied with an unsuccessful medication switch and return to original. Back to where I was at the beginning of September, I’ll appreciate the painContinue reading “What’s Up, Doc?”

Whoop, There It Is

Warning: This post includes discussion of suicide. If you need help, call 988 to speak with a mental health professional right now. This tattoo was a symbol of choosing life when I committed to my first real ink art in November of 2021. Suicidal ideation has been a close companion daily for many years, andContinue reading “Whoop, There It Is”

This Is It

In some cases, the difficult questions do eventually cul-de-sac into answers, whether we like them or not. One of my most challenging quests has been to find relief for my fibromyalgia. Is there anything out there that will address the whole enchilada? The answer has become quite clear. No more wondering or searching. This chronicContinue reading “This Is It”

‘We wake up and take the indicated action.’ 

Christina Applegate has multiple sclerosis. She’s had it for a while. In an article, (link below) she spoke briefly about her experience since being diagnosed. The quote above shares a perspective of one of her M.S. friends. “…It’s been a tough road. But as we all know, the road keeps going. Unless some a**hole blocksContinue reading “‘We wake up and take the indicated action.’ “

Searching for Peace

Caution: Frank discussion of suicide. If you need help, call 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to speak to mental health professionals. She danced and traveled. She was an accomplished psychiatric nurse and author. A searcher, she was seeking answers, solutions, alternatives. She provided support, encouragement, friendship and love to more people than we’ll ever know.Continue reading “Searching for Peace”

Ashley

Sensitive post w/discussion about suicide. My friend & fellow blogger, Ashley Peterson, isn’t with us anymore and I’m so damn sad. She befriended me in my early blog days three years ago. She (I don’t want to use past tense) was amazing. Her website is mentalhealthathome.org. She wrote posts and books, did movie reviews, sharedContinue reading “Ashley”

Hopeless

After completing the difficult transition from one fibromyalgia medication to another, my doctor and I had a virtual follow-up appointment. I absolutely LOVE virtual visits from the comfort of my home. This one, though, was quite discouraging. I’d read that many people react to this new med right away but some take a few weeksContinue reading “Hopeless”

Fibro & More Fibro

In the midst of transitioning from one fibromyalgia to another, I am feeling fibro. The fatigue is very heavy. Use of muscle relaxer and/or a med to take for nausea cause extra tiredness so, of late, I’m very reluctant to take either because it just lays me out. Not having much, if any, response toContinue reading “Fibro & More Fibro”

Can’t Think of a Title

Stress from chronic illness and pain due to fibromyalgia exacts a toll on my whole body, including my brain. I have to remind myself continually that there is no need for flight, fight, or freeze at this moment, no threat, in an effort to decrease the stress hormones flooding my systems. This morning, befuddled amContinue reading “Can’t Think of a Title”