Rambling & more Irritability? I got some. Blessings? An abundance. I want to live in the blessings, like sitting in the middle of a field of tulips, enjoying each gorgeous color. That’s not working for me presently. AAAAAAaaaaargh!!! I do have positive things happening in my life and will share them but first I haveContinue reading “Lordy, Lordy”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
In My Days
I’m alone in my days in sun and shadow longer than 24 it seems one behind another. The fog’s inside making familiar foreign slowing traffic hiding words. Holding tight tripping up falling more lying down. In my days light and dark staying still letting go.
Trigger warning: depression, suicidal thinking If you’re reading this, thanks for hanging out. I’m beginning again again. Opagque darkness has been visited upon me this past month, following a family upheaval. The spiral down was quick and steep, maybe because it’s so familiar. This time though, I got closer than I have ever been. OnContinue reading “Letting Go”
Parent is Also a Verb 3/14/23
Parent is a verb – until it’s not. At some point, the light turns red. Stop. Your job is done whether it feels like it or not, whether or not the results meet your expectations. Over the teen years, the parenting light should turn yellow. Our sons and daughters should be gaining independence all theirContinue reading “Parent is Also a Verb 3/14/23”
Falling. Falling. Falling. Vertigo, loss of balance, leg weakness, trembling, tripping, collapsing, losing my place in space. Bumping, bruising, knocking, whacking, breaking. This past week, I got out of bed around midnight to use the bathroom. After taking a few steps and feeling unstable, I stood still. Planted both feet flat on the floor. Still,Continue reading “Who Dat?”
Good Day to You, Sir
Don’t know what kind of funk I’m in but I think SurvivingSara.net will be quiet for some time. It’s not that I chose a break. It chose me. I really think I’ll be back on here but I have no idea when. I think of you, people who’ve taken the time to read one postContinue reading “Good Day to You, Sir”
Merry Christmas ’22
Despite not finding this holiday season very merry, I do wish for others an abundance of love, belonging, comfort and cheer. Whether with family or friends, hopefully you have a warm day, literally and figuratively. I’m unwell, we didn’t decorate because the year of remodeling and mother-in-law moving in have exhausted all of us. WeContinue reading “Merry Christmas ’22”
What Do I Owe?
Tough. Feeling rough. In my head, “I just don’t care. I’m over it, don’t want to do this.” For the record, I’m not thinking about ending my life. I don’t care enough about it to take action. At the end of September last, I was hopeful a medication change would provide some relief, even aContinue reading “What Do I Owe?”
An Early Gift for Me
Maybe read the post, “Fair to Middling, Cinderella to the Ball,” published on May 25, 2022 for background. Some of my readers may remember the work banquet Wolf and I attended last spring, for which I overprepared, and the review of said event involving one of my husband’s coworker’s wives. We’re calling her Debbie. InContinue reading “An Early Gift for Me”
This is the New Loo!
If you’ve been following along, I am happy to present my remodeled bathroom! Still lighting and electrical to address but I am now using my beautiful little spa. First a look back at “before.” My tiny box of a shower hiding behind that partial wall, a dark, low-ceilinged closet. Now, beautiful tile, higher ceiling, grabContinue reading “This is the New Loo!”
Parent is Also a Verb 12/5/22
LESS IS MORE, I PROMISE! When my children were young, they were given many gifts. When you take into account grandparents, aunts & uncles, mom & dad and, of course, Santa; the number of presents under the tree seems to increase exponentially as Christmas nears. Little ones are teased by the accumulation. When can weContinue reading “Parent is Also a Verb 12/5/22”
Watching the Machinery Break Down
Can you imagine how proud the farmer pictured was? This equipment was built in 1938 and looks like it’s of good use. Would you expect that piece of machinery to be running still in 2022? If you could get the engine started, its performance, if any, would certainly not compare with the earlier years. MyContinue reading “Watching the Machinery Break Down”
Parent is Also a Verb 11/28/22
Candy canes and popcorn chains Ribbons and bows with pretty boxes below What does your Christmas look like? Do you have family traditions from your childhood you’re now incorporating into the individual, couple, or all-in-with-kids Christmas you’re designing? Or not. Intentionally free of those reminders? Hanukkah? Kwanzaa? Doing your own thing? I propose that havingContinue reading “Parent is Also a Verb 11/28/22”
Thankful. Receiving blessings. Acknowledging what’s good and right in our lives. I am most thankful for my family and friends, Their love sustains me. I am grateful for our dog, my constant companion. Having food to eat, a warm house, operating vehicles, medical insurance, a comfortable bed, and a safe neighborhood make me one ofContinue reading “Happy Thanksgiving!”
What Would You Like?
Caesar, chef, spinach, chopped, taco, spring…..salad! I love some good greens as a side or as the meal itself. How about a store-bought garlic roll requiring just a couple minutes in the microwave? You must pick one salad and one brand of rolls. Do you want to eat those two foods over & over &Continue reading “What Would You Like?”
What’s Up, Doc?
All right, readers; I’m going to do my best to to write about anything except fibromyalgia, depression, or suicide in the coming weeks. Those that follow along will know I’ve been preoccupied with an unsuccessful medication switch and return to original. Back to where I was at the beginning of September, I’ll appreciate the painContinue reading “What’s Up, Doc?”
Whoop, There It Is
Warning: This post includes discussion of suicide. If you need help, call 988 to speak with a mental health professional right now. This tattoo was a symbol of choosing life when I committed to my first real ink art in November of 2021. Suicidal ideation has been a close companion daily for many years, andContinue reading “Whoop, There It Is”
This Is It
In some cases, the difficult questions do eventually cul-de-sac into answers, whether we like them or not. One of my most challenging quests has been to find relief for my fibromyalgia. Is there anything out there that will address the whole enchilada? The answer has become quite clear. No more wondering or searching. This chronicContinue reading “This Is It”
‘We wake up and take the indicated action.’
Christina Applegate has multiple sclerosis. She’s had it for a while. In an article, (link below) she spoke briefly about her experience since being diagnosed. The quote above shares a perspective of one of her M.S. friends. “…It’s been a tough road. But as we all know, the road keeps going. Unless some a**hole blocksContinue reading “‘We wake up and take the indicated action.’ “
Searching for Peace
Caution: Frank discussion of suicide. If you need help, call 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to speak to mental health professionals. She danced and traveled. She was an accomplished psychiatric nurse and author. A searcher, she was seeking answers, solutions, alternatives. She provided support, encouragement, friendship and love to more people than we’ll ever know.Continue reading “Searching for Peace”