Warning: This post includes discussion of suicide. If you need help, call 988 to speak with a mental health professional right now. This tattoo was a symbol of choosing life when I committed to my first real ink art in November of 2021. Suicidal ideation has been a close companion daily for many years, andContinue reading “Whoop, There It Is”
Tag Archives: anxiety
This Is It
In some cases, the difficult questions do eventually cul-de-sac into answers, whether we like them or not. One of my most challenging quests has been to find relief for my fibromyalgia. Is there anything out there that will address the whole enchilada? The answer has become quite clear. No more wondering or searching. This chronicContinue reading “This Is It”
Fibro & More Fibro
In the midst of transitioning from one fibromyalgia to another, I am feeling fibro. The fatigue is very heavy. Use of muscle relaxer and/or a med to take for nausea cause extra tiredness so, of late, I’m very reluctant to take either because it just lays me out. Not having much, if any, response toContinue reading “Fibro & More Fibro”
F*cking FU%K
Yes, home remodels are notoriously late & over budget. I get it. Huge misunderstanding, though. I believed I had Alex the tile guy until my job was finished. No, if tile comes in on another job he’s doing for my husband, he’ll spend three or four days there. I know, what’s three or four daysContinue reading “F*cking FU%K”
Sigh
Contents of the bubble above is ll I got. Checking in but don’t have energy or brain ability to write. Breathing. Hope all is well with you. Thanks for reading.
I Got Plastered & More
Hallelujah! My bathroom got some walls! I told the tile guy I’m not as excited as I was three months ago when demo happened. He assured me that’s the way it is, a pain in the ass. So, there’s that. As work begins in there, I realize the new bathroom is going to be smallerContinue reading “I Got Plastered & More”
The Last Ramble
Today’s the day. My mother-in-law moves into our daylight basement this evening, at least her bed. When they get here, my husband has to get the bed set up because we don’t have anywhere else for her to sleep. Tomorrow, an entire U-haul will be emptied into the limited space downstairs. In the face ofContinue reading “The Last Ramble”
Rambling Along Alone
Warning: discussion of suicide
Side Effects of Rambling
In this period immediately preceding the move-in of my mother-in-law, I’ve occasionally recorded, here in my blog, the thoughts I’m having and the implications of this new living arrangement as they’ve come up for me. I share my feelings with my husband, whose most common response recently is, “I don’t think it’s going to beContinue reading “Side Effects of Rambling”
Got the Pic! & Need to Ramble
In an earlier post, “This Joint is Jumpin’,” I told readers I would try to get a picture of the birdfeeder in my backyard when it’s busy. This is quite the challenge because if I’m outside, the birds hide. As soon as I come back into the house, feeding resumes. So, I managed to getContinue reading “Got the Pic! & Need to Ramble”
45+3
My mother-in-law sold her house, pending appraisal, less than a week after putting it on the market. There’s a 45-day escrow plus three days for moving. She’ll be relocating to our home immediately after Labor Day. The plan that was drawn up after the death of her husband in January is coming to fruition imminently.Continue reading “45+3”
Hearing Hangover
Following my discouraging disability hearing yesterday, I yet felt weight move from my shoulders, down through my hands. I had my husband brush the negative energy down my arms and out my fingertips. Sleep was spotty with blurred edges. This morning I woke up at my usual time, about 7 am, and had a cupContinue reading “Hearing Hangover”
Hard of Hearing
The problem with having slow thinking, trouble expressing yourself, and difficulty focusing is trying to describe your situation and limitations effectively in a disability hearing with an administrative law judge. The hearing started with a medical expert who concluded I had no limittions. None. She referred to notes from my past therapist and more thanContinue reading “Hard of Hearing”
Paper Thin
Shallow breaths are all I need. Feeling hungry is satisfying. If I can take in tiny sips of air and spend most of the daytime feeling the effects of eating a minimal amount of food, I can almost disappear. Just a slip of person, thin as paper. No matter my physical weight, I nearly disappear.Continue reading “Paper Thin”
Ramble Gamble
Rambling posts are a collection of thoughts I have that don’t warrant a post of their own. I also include personal life circumstances, usually near the end. Do you speak your mind? Are there folks with whom you avoid voicing your opinions? Is it a risk to share your thoughts? I find I keep manyContinue reading “Ramble Gamble”
I Can’t Care
Recently, I shared that I have writer’s block. A draft was completed and I posted that, which felt good. Since then, I just can’t care about writing or blogging or connecting. I forget to even open SurvivingSara.net. I’m sick. This is a bad fibro flare. Stress about life events is heavy with no relief forContinue reading “I Can’t Care”
Pooped
Woke up worn out My get up & go got up and went. Exhausted Fatigue is one of the most difficult fibromyalgia symptoms to deal with for me personally. It affects every fiber of my being when it makes itself at home, whether that’s around lunchtime or even first thing in the morning. Today, IContinue reading “Pooped”
Party Time
My husband did a great job at work in 2021, reaching heightened goals, and he is being recognized at a party Friday night, two days from now. The company provides everyone who makes “The President’s Club” a room at a very nice resort not far from where we live. Check-in will be followed by appetizersContinue reading “Party Time”
WALK
After nearly three months off my feet, actually one foot, the surgeon who inserted a rod and a bunch of staples into my left ankle gave me the go-ahead to begin bearing weight on that side! This is very exciting! I’ve banished the knee scooter and, in its place, now there are a cane, aContinue reading “WALK”
Stress Be Gone
Apparently, my new mantra, “no need for flight or fight,” is only as powerful as the time and energy I give it. As usual, when I get new information or choose a new strategy to improve my condition, I’m so excited and sure this will be the “thing” that makes a difference. The first dayContinue reading “Stress Be Gone”
SurvivingSara 