No one, besides me, has quit church. Sure, some folks have checked out a different house of worship and moved on; but regular attendees, including actual members of the church and people who study the scriptures, they’re not quitting. If the current pastoral staff and worship programming aren’t meeting a parishioner’s needs, they’d transfer toContinue reading “The Light”
Tag Archives: coping
Not So Great Expectations
Update on searching for a purpose: I’ve been working to accept that chronic illness and pain are here to stay and affect everything. I am leaving the past behind, so thankful that I was relatively healthy for so many years. It may be putting the horse before the cart, but I’ve made plans to getContinue reading “Not So Great Expectations”
Letting Go
My life has consisted of serial efforts to meet or exceed expectations, obvious or imagined, in a wide variety of roles, both familial and those I’ve adopted. The past 18 months, I’ve been trying to succeed at fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety. I’m so tired of clinging ferociously to my climbing rope, aiming for a plateauContinue reading “Letting Go”
Declaration of Peace
The cease fire of the armed conflict with myself outlines mutually agreed upon obligations. Both parties consent to: Disarmament to include insults, both real and imagined, self-doubt, pessimistic outlook, and any other efforts to injure. Revisiting the past will focus only on positive memories. Negative events are deleted and no longer available for review. BreathingContinue reading “Declaration of Peace”
All Things in Moderation
For years, I’d prided myself on being able to satisfy my sweet tooth, primarily a chocolate tooth, with a square or two of a candy bar. One cookie was enough for me to feel indulged. Over time, I began to have a little bit of chocolate and then a little bit more. In the earlyContinue reading “All Things in Moderation”
Sparkle
My latest consideration in search of a new life purpose is spurred by a memory. My family has lived in the same home for 20 years. Living on a cul-de-sac, even a long one, for a couple decades, you get to know your neighbors, especially our little slice of heaven. We’ve had progressive dinners, streetContinue reading “Sparkle”
Maybe I Am OK
An epiphany just hit me upside the head. Being strong in my pain and limitations does not require I never speak of my circumstances or shed tears, only that my joy for the experiences and enthusiasm of others is not diminished. What a relief.
Opting In
Reviewing methods of suicide, each has it’s own difficulty. All who know me well would understand if I chose not to bear the pain for the next decades. It truly is up to me. My new focus is finding purpose for this next chapter in my life. Until I discover what that is, I’ll doContinue reading “Opting In”
If I’m Honest
That phrase bugs the shit out of me. Yeah, please do. Be honest. Was everything before just bullshit? Are you letting me know that you’re not always telling me the truth? In the best light possible, it can mean you keep some things to yourself but, since someone asked, now you’ll say what you reallyContinue reading “If I’m Honest”
This or That?
In any given circumstance, the only thing we can actually control is our perspective. Any person can view a rainy day as gloomy, considering it bad weather, or embrace the chance to curl up and binge watch a new series. Mostly stuck in bed with chronic pain, fatigue, and illness, I’m experiencing great difficulty changingContinue reading “This or That?”
REALITY
I can only do what I can do. Sometimes that’s breathing. It doesn’t feel like enough. Hope I’m up for gardening this spring.
I Will
I will find a new way to weave love and compassion into the tapestry of life that works in my current circumstances. I will go outside for at least a few minutes every day, no excuses. Even if it’s just out my slider onto the deck, breathing fresh air is good for so many things.Continue reading “I Will”
Downshifting
For decades, I’ve been in overdrive. Go, go, go. Career in the early days, babies and books for my husband’s small business, working from home and raising up two boys, and then part-time work. My mom asked me once if I ever relaxed. Admittedly, I have a terrible time unwinding mentally and physically. Here IContinue reading “Downshifting”
FATIGUE
It’s 11:04 am. I’ve been up since just before nine, a little more than two hours. One cup of coffee, read headlines, and dealt online with a data breach of a previous employer that may or may not affect me. Although I really want to shower right now, the chronic fatigue that has been aContinue reading “FATIGUE”
Dream a Little
What is life going to be like after widespread vaccinations? It’s doubtful we’ll snap back to where we “left off” before the pandemic. So many loved ones will not be with us. Many businesses haven’t survived and won’t be available. For me, although not involving COVID, the past year has been difficult with my physicalContinue reading “Dream a Little”
Recalibrating Good
“Have a good day!” “How was your day?” “Hi, how are you doing?” “Did you have a good day?” What is good? What’s going on in your life when you’re pretty sure it will be a good day? How might a day unfold that results in you considering it a good day? For me, personally,Continue reading “Recalibrating Good”
The Last to Know
(Revised 2:30 p.m. PST) Turns out ostriches don’t actually bury their heads as some kind of response to an unknown threat. Females dig holes for eggs. Mothers put their heads in the holes regularly to rotate them. This is the image that led to the reference of burying one’s head in the sand. Like anContinue reading “The Last to Know”
What Is My Thing?
You know how after a tragedy, people say no one knows what they’d do unless they were there. Well, here we are, nine months into a pandemic with millions getting ill and dying around the world. With the worst up ahead, we are in that moment. So, I started thinking about how I’m handling thisContinue reading “What Is My Thing?”
Where is this?
Here I am in a new place. The travel itinerary for the last year, 12 months – not calendar, has been one of exploring roadside attractions I had visited previously or those in which I certainly had no interest. Severe, suicidal depression was the first stop. I am so familiar with depression, I was sureContinue reading “Where is this?”
Hope This Finds You Well
In recent weeks, both of my young adult sons have, separately, encouraged me to begin walking regularly, sure that’s all I need to feel better. I agree with them that walking routinely would be helpful and it is a goal, but it’s not the cure. If I’m having a good day, I can handle stairsContinue reading “Hope This Finds You Well”
