The cease fire of the armed conflict with myself outlines mutually agreed upon obligations. Both parties consent to: Disarmament to include insults, both real and imagined, self-doubt, pessimistic outlook, and any other efforts to injure. Revisiting the past will focus only on positive memories. Negative events are deleted and no longer available for review. BreathingContinue reading “Declaration of Peace”
Tag Archives: Chronic illness
Sparkle
My latest consideration in search of a new life purpose is spurred by a memory. My family has lived in the same home for 20 years. Living on a cul-de-sac, even a long one, for a couple decades, you get to know your neighbors, especially our little slice of heaven. We’ve had progressive dinners, streetContinue reading “Sparkle”
Maybe I Am OK
An epiphany just hit me upside the head. Being strong in my pain and limitations does not require I never speak of my circumstances or shed tears, only that my joy for the experiences and enthusiasm of others is not diminished. What a relief.
The Purpose of Life
Purpose (def): the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. Purpose creates meaning, offers a sense of direction and helps guide our paths, behavior, and goals. Purpose according to Google: Live and let live. (I think it’s hilarious that one can ask google what the purpose of life is,Continue reading “The Purpose of Life”
A New Way
My earliest desperate search for a life purpose or meaning, for which I could do great things, repeatedly and resoundingly hit a brick wall. The graffiti on that wall said, “breathe.” It took me a few years to understand that I actually had received my answer. All I needed to do was breathe. No bigContinue reading “A New Way”
Downshifting
For decades, I’ve been in overdrive. Go, go, go. Career in the early days, babies and books for my husband’s small business, working from home and raising up two boys, and then part-time work. My mom asked me once if I ever relaxed. Admittedly, I have a terrible time unwinding mentally and physically. Here IContinue reading “Downshifting”
FATIGUE
It’s 11:04 am. I’ve been up since just before nine, a little more than two hours. One cup of coffee, read headlines, and dealt online with a data breach of a previous employer that may or may not affect me. Although I really want to shower right now, the chronic fatigue that has been aContinue reading “FATIGUE”
What Now?
Whether disguised as a substitute teacher, a retail cashier, or a garden department associate, I was actually a weaver. My true purpose in life has been weaving love and compassion into the fabric of life regardless of where I am, what I’m doing, or with whom. Reminding myself of this has served to carry meContinue reading “What Now?”
The Deep
It was the waves that called me and they did not disappoint. How could they? Much to my surprise, it was the heaving of the deep that really spoke to me. The rolling weight pushing the water, high tide or low, was the powerful driver of the waves on top. Between the curling and crashing,Continue reading “The Deep”
Recalibrating Good
“Have a good day!” “How was your day?” “Hi, how are you doing?” “Did you have a good day?” What is good? What’s going on in your life when you’re pretty sure it will be a good day? How might a day unfold that results in you considering it a good day? For me, personally,Continue reading “Recalibrating Good”
The Best-Laid Plans…
Last week, I decided not to make daily plans because I was disappointing myself day after day. The intertwined difficulties of depression and fibromyalgia have brought me to a place I haven’t been to previously, my functioning impaired significantly for several months. It’s now eight months since I collapsed under the weight of suicidal depression.Continue reading “The Best-Laid Plans…”
Now What?
Life has taken a new shape for everyone. There’s a hole in many lives that used to be filled with work, friends, sporting events, summer vacations, taking your kids to swim in a pool crowded with splashing, hollering kids, etc. Personally, after leaving my job due to prior lung damage, I thought I’d rest upContinue reading “Now What?”
The Fibro Ride
As tempted as I am to analogize living with fibromyalgia to the ups and downs of a rollercoaster ride, more ups would be required. It’s more like a ferris wheel. Eleven years after the onset and eight since the first of three diagnoses, I think I may be accepting that I am living with chronicContinue reading “The Fibro Ride”
