Surviving Sara’s Ramblings

About those updates I’ve promised previously:

Bright Line Eating: Ugh. Don’t ask. I ate mostly french fries and milkshakes following my tooth extraction and I never really got back to my concerted effort to minimize flour and avoid most processed sugars, coffee creamer excepted. The holidays are here, which doesn’t really change a thing in my world, but still it seems to be a pass for eating whatever I want. After the new year….

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about the magic pill that was gojng to melt all the fat away, Glucofort. I forgot to take it daily during the whole tooth extraction episode and then fell off completely. Because there is still a full bottle sitting with the supplements on my kitchen counter, I’m going to try it again and I’ll let you know if it works. Has anyone tried the fat melter pill from Shark Tank? Did it work?

Regarding the counselor I’ve started seeing online, she’s good. I like her calm demeanor. It is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, I think this is good for me, because just mulling things over isn’t getting results. She has me set a couple, realistic goals for the week and then checks with me the next week to see if I’ve completed them. I told her I didn’t think I was a very good client because my fibromyalgia gets in the way of my goals. She said she understands and won’t get impatient or feel like I’m not invested in our work. This week we are starting an acceptance therapy workbook, one chapter at a time.

The two-year anniversary of starting my blog passed recently. Writing this blog is the activity that expresses my creativity and reminds me my mind is still competent, even when I’m having trouble talking. On speaking, words escape me and searching for them can take 30 seconds or so, which feels like a really long time when a person has formerly been able to use words as darts to deflate someone’s bullshit. Thank you, readers, for coming along on my journey, whether it’s one post or most posts, as Ashley Peterson at mentalhealthathome.org does. Thanks for your support, Ashley!

Update on letting color into my world: I love both purchases I made of six plant parts cards for $13 and four canvas flower paintings for $26. They lived up to my expectations. I shop Amazon frequently, even as I rail against Bezos’ unrelenting effort to control more, more, more…

Another project I’ve undertaken, as a therapy goal, is cleaning the crap out of my closet. I’ve filled a large outside garbage bag and seriously thinned out my clothing. Shoes are next. I know I have some flip flops and other flat shoes that do not provide support. Do I send them on to a second hand store or is it okay if I wear them when I’m only going to be on my feet for a short time because they’re cute? Does anyone buy used shoes?

For the past two years of writing, I’ve used only my tablet with an onscreen keyboard. More than 250 posts written mostly with one finger. My husband bought me a laptop for Christmas and gave it to me early. because he knows I receive positive energy and express creativity and writing ability, which confirms to me I am okay.

My depression and physical pain and distress continue unabated. Despite starting counseling and making efforts to improve my surroundings, I am irritable, crying easily, and plagued by severe fatigue. Let’s give it time. It’s been two years since the bottom of coping dropped out; what’s another one or two?

Were there other areas on which I promised an update? I’m not sure I got them all. If there’s something I wrote about earlier and you’re interested in what’s happened since that post, drop a question in the comments and I’ll respond.

I hope this finds you well, whatever that means for you.

post script: I just remembered another update, my relationship with chocolate. I no longer ban chocolate completely as I did in the first months so sure was I that I wouldn’t be able to resist. I now am able to moderate my chocolate intake. I don’t buy it myself, but my husband does occasionally. Currently, there is a batch of brownies in my kitchen, and I’ve been able to limit myself to one per day. This is new and so welcome.