Before – Early October

In late October, I’ll be receiving a tattoo on my lower right leg. (I just typed ‘left leg.’ Oops. Better get my story straight.) I made the appointment in August and emailed ideas to the artist. Here is the description with photos for a design. I’ll post “After” to let you know how the experienceContinue reading “Before – Early October”

Shhhhh

Don’t talk about it. Keep your feelings to yourself. Oooh, do I need to treat you with kid gloves? You’re really gonna go there? I did not sound that way. It wasn’t meant like that. Makes you feel bad? Listening to you nitpick everything I say is making me feel bad. That’s how I feelContinue reading “Shhhhh”

The Light

No one, besides me, has quit church. Sure, some folks have checked out a different house of worship and moved on; but regular attendees, including actual members of the church and people who study the scriptures, they’re not quitting. If the current pastoral staff and worship programming aren’t meeting a parishioner’s needs, they’d transfer toContinue reading “The Light”

Not So Great Expectations

Update on searching for a purpose: I’ve been working to accept that chronic illness and pain are here to stay and affect everything. I am leaving the past behind, so thankful that I was relatively healthy for so many years. It may be putting the horse before the cart, but I’ve made plans to getContinue reading “Not So Great Expectations”

Letting Go

My life has consisted of serial efforts to meet or exceed expectations, obvious or imagined, in a wide variety of roles, both familial and those I’ve adopted. The past 18 months, I’ve been trying to succeed at fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety. I’m so tired of clinging ferociously to my climbing rope, aiming for a plateauContinue reading “Letting Go”

Declaration of Peace

The cease fire of the armed conflict with myself outlines mutually agreed upon obligations. Both parties consent to: Disarmament to include insults, both real and imagined, self-doubt, pessimistic outlook, and any other efforts to injure. Revisiting the past will focus only on positive memories. Negative events are deleted and no longer available for review. BreathingContinue reading “Declaration of Peace”

This or That?

In any given circumstance, the only thing we can actually control is our perspective. Any person can view a rainy day as gloomy, considering it bad weather, or embrace the chance to curl up and binge watch a new series. Mostly stuck in bed with chronic pain, fatigue, and illness, I’m experiencing great difficulty changingContinue reading “This or That?”

Downshifting

For decades, I’ve been in overdrive. Go, go, go. Career in the early days, babies and books for my husband’s small business, working from home and raising up two boys, and then part-time work. My mom asked me once if I ever relaxed. Admittedly, I have a terrible time unwinding mentally and physically. Here IContinue reading “Downshifting”

Dream a Little

What is life going to be like after widespread vaccinations? It’s doubtful we’ll snap back to where we “left off” before the pandemic. So many loved ones will not be with us. Many businesses haven’t survived and won’t be available. For me, although not involving COVID, the past year has been difficult with my physicalContinue reading “Dream a Little”

The Last to Know

(Revised 2:30 p.m. PST) Turns out ostriches don’t actually bury their heads as some kind of response to an unknown threat. Females dig holes for eggs. Mothers put their heads in the holes regularly to rotate them. This is the image that led to the reference of burying one’s head in the sand. Like anContinue reading “The Last to Know”