SurvivingSara

Tag: Chronic illness

  • Merry Christmas ’22

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    Sara Z
    in

    Despite not finding this holiday season very merry, I do wish for others an abundance of love, belonging, comfort and cheer. Whether with family or friends, hopefully you have a warm day, literally and figuratively. I’m unwell, we didn’t decorate because the year of remodeling and mother-in-law moving in have exhausted all of us. We…

  • What Do I Owe?

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    Sara Z
    in

    Tough. Feeling rough. In my head, “I just don’t care. I’m over it, don’t want to do this.” For the record, I’m not thinking about ending my life. I don’t care enough about it to take action. At the end of September last, I was hopeful a medication change would provide some relief, even a…

  • What’s Up, Doc?

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    Sara Z
    in

    All right, readers; I’m going to do my best to to write about anything except fibromyalgia, depression, or suicide in the coming weeks. Those that follow along will know I’ve been preoccupied with an unsuccessful medication switch and return to original. Back to where I was at the beginning of September, I’ll appreciate the pain…

  • Whoop, There It Is

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    Sara Z
    in

    Warning: This post includes discussion of suicide. If you need help, call 988 to speak with a mental health professional right now. This tattoo was a symbol of choosing life when I committed to my first real ink art in November of 2021. Suicidal ideation has been a close companion daily for many years, and…

  • This Is It

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    Sara Z
    in

    In some cases, the difficult questions do eventually cul-de-sac into answers, whether we like them or not. One of my most challenging quests has been to find relief for my fibromyalgia. Is there anything out there that will address the whole enchilada? The answer has become quite clear. No more wondering or searching. This chronic…

  • ‘We wake up and take the indicated action.’ 

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    Sara Z
    in

    Christina Applegate has multiple sclerosis. She’s had it for a while. In an article, (link below) she spoke briefly about her experience since being diagnosed. The quote above shares a perspective of one of her M.S. friends. “…It’s been a tough road. But as we all know, the road keeps going. Unless some a**hole blocks…

  • Hopeless

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    Sara Z
    in

    After completing the difficult transition from one fibromyalgia medication to another, my doctor and I had a virtual follow-up appointment. I absolutely LOVE virtual visits from the comfort of my home. This one, though, was quite discouraging. I’d read that many people react to this new med right away but some take a few weeks…

  • Fibro & More Fibro

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    Sara Z
    in

    In the midst of transitioning from one fibromyalgia to another, I am feeling fibro. The fatigue is very heavy. Use of muscle relaxer and/or a med to take for nausea cause extra tiredness so, of late, I’m very reluctant to take either because it just lays me out. Not having much, if any, response to…

  • Can’t Think of a Title

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    Sara Z
    in

    Stress from chronic illness and pain due to fibromyalgia exacts a toll on my whole body, including my brain. I have to remind myself continually that there is no need for flight, fight, or freeze at this moment, no threat, in an effort to decrease the stress hormones flooding my systems. This morning, befuddled am…

  • To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn

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    Sara Z
    in

    My birthdays (I accidentally typed ‘girthdays’ which may be more appropriate!) aren’t such a big deal to me; I just consider it a day to pamper myself. Same ol’ same ol’ this year, my 58th birthday and I’m still so sick from changing medications for fibromyalgia. This time, though, was different! My husband began my…

  • For Today

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    Sara Z
    in

    For this day, right here, right now, I will not think about what others think of me. Hopefully, I’ll do it again tomorrow. p.s. Yes, I know they probably aren’t thinking about me right now, wherever they are! HAHAHAHA – holy crap. My husband just texted and said, “I just checked out today’s post. That’s…

  • Countdown 3-2-! & More

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    Sara Z
    in

    Okay, my new bathroom tile will not look like this. Can you imagine? For my in-home spa (a very small en suite bathroom), I’m going for ‘serenity now & a laugh.’ But guess what, people! The tile setter is here working today and as many days as it takes! Not sure why, but approaching my…

  • Sigh

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    Sara Z
    in

    Contents of the bubble above is ll I got. Checking in but don’t have energy or brain ability to write. Breathing. Hope all is well with you. Thanks for reading.

  • I Got Plastered & More

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    Sara Z
    in

    Hallelujah! My bathroom got some walls! I told the tile guy I’m not as excited as I was three months ago when demo happened. He assured me that’s the way it is, a pain in the ass. So, there’s that. As work begins in there, I realize the new bathroom is going to be smaller…

  • A New Porpoise & a Bit of Rambling

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    Sara Z
    in

    “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of others” – Charles Dickens Puzzling recently about my purpose in life, established in the mid two oughts. [I still don’t know how to address the first decade of our century. The 80’s, 90’s, and 00’s in writing but what about when one is…

  • No Can Do

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    Sara Z
    in

    Even the tooth fairy must get tired. I’m in fibro flare. It’s been the worst painI’ve experienced since I broke my leg. Typing isn’t conducive to relaxing neck and shoulders. I know this sounds weird, but I think of you every day. I’m excited when I see repeat visitors and I recognize your names. Got…

  • Rambling Club

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    Sara Z
    in

    While Americans may join a hiking club, in England and Canada, rambling clubs are taking to the trails! How perfect is that for my series of rambling posts with tidbits and doodads that don’t deserve their own posts. I welcome you to join my rambling club. They’re typically named after the nearest city, but we’re…

  • WARNING: Loud Ahead

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    Sara Z
    in

    I was watching a video on YouTube of a symposium on decreasing stress and increasing peace in life. There were a couple of professors whose presentations I paid minimal attention while concurrently writing, tweeting, or playing games. Then an expert was introduced who surprised me. Here in the heart of academia was a Hindu guru…

  • Do You Remember Me?

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    Sara Z
    in

    To my sons, There was a time I was active. We went on hikes after school, even though you couldn’t figure out “Why do we have to do this?” Watching out front when you went out to play in order to intercept fights with neighbors or general mischief. I did yardwork while you rode bikes…

  • Hearing Hangover

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    Sara Z
    in

    Following my discouraging disability hearing yesterday, I yet felt weight move from my shoulders, down through my hands. I had my husband brush the negative energy down my arms and out my fingertips. Sleep was spotty with blurred edges. This morning I woke up at my usual time, about 7 am, and had a cup…