Can’t Think of a Title

Stress from chronic illness and pain due to fibromyalgia exacts a toll on my whole body, including my brain. I have to remind myself continually that there is no need for flight, fight, or freeze at this moment, no threat, in an effort to decrease the stress hormones flooding my systems. This morning, befuddled am I. One medication has been removed from my regimen and the new one is on board. Unfortunately, it may take weeks to feel the full effect. So, pain is unmasked and I generally feel as though I’m in a doctor’s waiting room, expecting the results of a test that will either give me what I need to get out of my bed, going and doing, or I will receive indications from the outcome that where I am is where I’ll be. I’m in a holding pattern.

If the new medication is a good fit for me, I don’t foresee a huge improvement suddenly one day. It will likely appear gradually, having a bit more interest or energy that increases over time. I want this sooo bad.

Previously, I remarked to readers that I would notify them of a new post about my mother-in-law by adding “& More” to titles. Please disregard. She lives with us. She is part of what’s going on in my life, so she’ll be included in any newsy posts.

Yesterday my mother-in-law, who’s been living with us for over a month now, went to get new license plates for her car. She’d already done the legwork for a new driver’s license. She came home with the new plates saying, “Now, it’s official! I’m a resident of this state. The gal at the licensing place said, ‘Congratulations! You’re official,'” she reported excitedly. I admit I did feel a little gut punch.

Next, she said, “I thought about wearing a bracelet my mother gave me today. I figure if Sara can wear her new bracelet (received from my husband for my birthday last week) just to lay in bed, I can wear my jewelry. I didn’t, though, because I would’ve had to change clothes. I can’t wear nice jewelry with this,” indicating her clothing, which was leggings and a t-shirt. My reaction? I turned down the hallway to my bedroom and said, “Oh yeah. You can wear jewelry anytime! I LOVE my new bracelet.”

Wolf, my husband, explained, “I thought the same thing at first, that no one would see it, but if she wants a tennis bracelet and it makes her happy, why not?”

I’ve noticed that my MIL doesn’t ask me anything or share family news with me. After my husband gets home, she’ll say, “I was going to empty the dishwasher but I didn’t know how to open it,” or ask other household questions. For the record, pulling the door open is how one opens the dishwasher. A couple of days ago, I heard her mentioning something to Wolf about our niece who is very pregnant with twins, but I couldn’t hear what she said. Yesterday, I shared that I’d heard her mention the name of our niece and asked what the news was. She seemed a little bit surprised, like why would I ask or need to know about my sister-in-law’s daughter.

When I noted that MIL doesn’t communicate with me about anything, Wolf said, “Well, you like to limit interaction with her. I read your blog,” and smiled. I’m reminded it’s all about perspective.

Published by Sara Z

Writing is one of my passions. Most blog entries are relatively short articles regarding a wide variety of topics. I'm a middle-aged wife and mother of two adult sons. I've been a teacher, counselor, medical transcriptionist, student teacher supervisor, substitute teacher and retail clerk. Staying home now due to fibromyalgia. Seeking purpose.

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