SurvivingSara

Tag: Wellness

  • Wishful & Wistly

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    Sara Z
    in

    Always, it seems, an echo of wistfulness reverberates in my soul to which I assign sadness and loneliness. It occurs to me now, though, that the best course may be to uncouple this sensation from depression. Experiencing wistfulness doesn’t have to be negative. Perhaps nostalgic is a more apt synonym than melancholy. Wistful vs nostalgic.…

  • Splitting Hairs

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    Sara Z
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    The first professional haircut I’ve received since COVID shut everything down at the end of March and beginning of April came at long last. In the spring of 2020, the appointment that had to be canceled was important; we’d tried a little bit of fringe, and now I needed to decide if I would go…

  • The Purpose of My Purpose

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    Sara Z
    in

    I’m still here, damn it, purpose identified or not; so what’s the plan? How long has it been since I set out to discover a sense of meaning for this next chapter of my life? Feels like it’s been plenty of time, but nothing has materialized, no opportunity to set a course defined by a…

  • Core Strength

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    Sara Z
    in

    I worry that I’m not strong enough in the face of chronic pain and illness because I’m no longer working and haven’t been walking or doing yoga. Tightening my core muscles for more than a few minutes or walking less than a hundred yards causes my back muscles to spasm in a way I describe…

  • Oh, That River In Egypt

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    Sara Z
    in

    When cold winter and spring weather gave way to warmer temperatures, I found the clothes ascribed for summer were tight. Hmmm My husband noted an increase in the size of my mammary glands, and he wasn’t complaining. Interesting. My stomach no longer went flat if I was lying down. It stayed pooched up. Weird. In…

  • And Then…

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    Sara Z
    in

    Plans, goals, attitude, expectations. Pep talk to self in an effort to spur motivation and commitment. Judging my daily abilities against an aspirational mental picture. Comparing achievements of others with my own sad state of affairs. Suspiciously evaluating my behaviors, or lack thereof, for honest effort versus laziness. And then, I spend a terribly painful…

  • Recalibrating Good

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    Sara Z
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    “Have a good day!” “How was your day?” “Hi, how are you doing?” “Did you have a good day?” What is good? What’s going on in your life when you’re pretty sure it will be a good day? How might a day unfold that results in you considering it a good day? For me, personally,…

  • Learning Curve

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    Sara Z
    in

    I have a post in my head but I’m too tired. Great website regarding fibromyalgia- Counting My Spoons. I’ve avoided reading stuff about fibromyalgia for years. Good insights and perspective. Going to address what I can through behavioral changes. Things I want to work on include: Pacing No excuses or apologies Listen to my body…

  • Riding the Waves

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    Sara Z
    in

    No longer in the darkness that enveloped me last November, I feel like the two things I have to work on right now are being okay with being okay and not reacting to every wave in life as though it’s a tsunami. In the midst of a major depressive episode, every ripple in the waters…

  • Life in Color

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    Sara Z
    in

    Last night, my husband said, “Your medicine must have kicked in, because it’s like a switch has been flipped.” This is coming from a guy who used to hate the idea of me being on antidepressants. Over the years, he’s seen that I do have a chemical imbalance that results in severe depression when not…