No longer in the darkness that enveloped me last November, I feel like the two things I have to work on right now are being okay with being okay and not reacting to every wave in life as though it’s a tsunami.
In the midst of a major depressive episode, every ripple in the waters causes me to feel like it’s going to knock me down, and some do. I experience motion sickness. It could be any little stressor, which would be a mere annoyance when I’m well. When i spend several weeks or months in that frame of mind, it becomes my new normal.
I’ve made great progress with the right treatment for me, which I knew I would from my history; but feeling okay, good, or even happy is not the norm. I have to get used to these moods again. I don’t need to dread every errand, brace for minor bad news, and avoid social activities.
Alas, I am not immune from more serious issues. No one is. My knee jerk reaction is to imagine the worst, turn whitecaps into storm surges, and probably cry. Herein lie my current wellness goals. It’s okay to be okay: I can swim instead of running for higher ground.