Category: Uncategorized
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Bright Lines
Okay, okay, okay. I call do-over. I can do that. That’s one of the rules you agreed to when you followed my blog….just kidding. I am in a mood today. I wrote the post below last Friday, October 1st. I’ve thought a lot about this topic in the past five days. If you are interested,…
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Living on the Edge
Twenty years we’ve lived in our home and, though we would like to downsize, we’re reluctant to leave the wildlife corridor our lot borders. When we initially purchased this house, it was located on the outer limits of suburbia, so much so that the neighborhood was just newly able to have pizza delivered and only…
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Before – Early October
In late October, I’ll be receiving a tattoo on my lower right leg. (I just typed ‘left leg.’ Oops. Better get my story straight.) I made the appointment in August and emailed ideas to the artist. Here is the description with photos for a design. I’ll post “After” to let you know how the experience…
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Yayoi Kusama
One of her early art pieces was her lying down naked in the middle of a busy city street, New York I think. Couldn’t find a picture of that one. She also worked on paper. After seeing a segment about this fascinating artist on CBS News Sunday Morning, I was thrilled to hear the installation…
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Exceeding Expectations
My brilliant son was in his senior year of high school, excited for his next adventure – attending college out of town. Since he was a freshman, I’d been talking to both our sons about the need to engage in extracurricular activities and volunteering for solid college and scholarship applications. Occasionally, I’d see and mention…
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Shhhhh
Don’t talk about it. Keep your feelings to yourself. Oooh, do I need to treat you with kid gloves? You’re really gonna go there? I did not sound that way. It wasn’t meant like that. Makes you feel bad? Listening to you nitpick everything I say is making me feel bad. That’s how I feel…
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Wishful & Wistly
Always, it seems, an echo of wistfulness reverberates in my soul to which I assign sadness and loneliness. It occurs to me now, though, that the best course may be to uncouple this sensation from depression. Experiencing wistfulness doesn’t have to be negative. Perhaps nostalgic is a more apt synonym than melancholy. Wistful vs nostalgic.…
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Splitting Hairs
The first professional haircut I’ve received since COVID shut everything down at the end of March and beginning of April came at long last. In the spring of 2020, the appointment that had to be canceled was important; we’d tried a little bit of fringe, and now I needed to decide if I would go…
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The Purpose of My Purpose
I’m still here, damn it, purpose identified or not; so what’s the plan? How long has it been since I set out to discover a sense of meaning for this next chapter of my life? Feels like it’s been plenty of time, but nothing has materialized, no opportunity to set a course defined by a…
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The Light
No one, besides me, has quit church. Sure, some folks have checked out a different house of worship and moved on; but regular attendees, including actual members of the church and people who study the scriptures, they’re not quitting. If the current pastoral staff and worship programming aren’t meeting a parishioner’s needs, they’d transfer to…
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Brain Fog
It’s that kind of day, no coffee cup under the Keurig. Last night was spent more awake than sleeping; at least, that’s how it felt. Besides a couple wanderings around during the 2-3 o’clock hour, I heard my son come home from his night security shift at 4:30 a.m. and was still awake when my…
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Core Strength
I worry that I’m not strong enough in the face of chronic pain and illness because I’m no longer working and haven’t been walking or doing yoga. Tightening my core muscles for more than a few minutes or walking less than a hundred yards causes my back muscles to spasm in a way I describe…
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Smile!
Imagine, if you will, that you have a terrible toothache. When you awoke, it was just a fleeting sensation, like foil on a filling, when you drank your coffee and ate some breakfast. You remind yourself to take acetaminophen, get some more numbing gel, and call for an appointment with your dentist. Once at work,…
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What’s Up?
To anyone who reads this, thank you so much for listening. That’s how I think of the visitors and 143 followers of my blog, as listeners. Most of my posts receive a few views and occasionally someone “likes” something I write. Regardless of how any particular post is received, just publishing my thoughts and emotions…
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Oh, That River In Egypt
When cold winter and spring weather gave way to warmer temperatures, I found the clothes ascribed for summer were tight. Hmmm My husband noted an increase in the size of my mammary glands, and he wasn’t complaining. Interesting. My stomach no longer went flat if I was lying down. It stayed pooched up. Weird. In…
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It’s as Beautiful or as Terrible as You Make It
What do I fear? What kind of energy am I holding inside? Instead of racing around in my head, I want to choose peace. Healing and calm CAN replace negative, toxic thoughts and emotions. This initially fills me with anxiety, as I internalize the message, “Your wellness is your responsibility. If you were good at…
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Oh, Hell No
Discovering a purpose for the next stage of life continues to prove elusive, as does a good night’s sleep. Nothing to report except vertigo, serious fatigue, and widespread pain, all of which, combined, keep me feeling pretty sick. Instead, I’m sharing a story that still crosses my mind and makes me smile more than 15…
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Does Church Work?
This topic has been simmering in my heart and mind for decades. Having attended church regularly for years, serving in many different capacities, and eventually volunteering as director of women’s ministry, I saw several examples of folks behaving badly. Worse, there are people convinced they’ve got it dialed in who think nothing of gossiping or…
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And Then…
Plans, goals, attitude, expectations. Pep talk to self in an effort to spur motivation and commitment. Judging my daily abilities against an aspirational mental picture. Comparing achievements of others with my own sad state of affairs. Suspiciously evaluating my behaviors, or lack thereof, for honest effort versus laziness. And then, I spend a terribly painful…
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Not So Great Expectations
Update on searching for a purpose: I’ve been working to accept that chronic illness and pain are here to stay and affect everything. I am leaving the past behind, so thankful that I was relatively healthy for so many years. It may be putting the horse before the cart, but I’ve made plans to get…
SurvivingSara 