I’m feeling squiggly, which is how I describe the roiling of depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia. Not a full-on meltdown, just a constant, gnawing sense that I’m not okay or something out there isn’t right. It insists on receiving my attention, or at least won’t let me focus on anything else in a sustained, meaningful way.
I’m so fucking over dealing with depression and anxiety. Saw Dr. Liz today, and we’ve adjusted my meds. Because I haven’t leveled out on a therapeutic dosage yet, I’m not well.
“You have a chemical imbalance. When the chemicals are in order, you will feel much better. You will have more energy. You are okay. Breathe deeply, exhale completely, repeat.” I can tell myself this until the cows come home, but it doesn’t change the way I feel today.