On the Inside

Photo by Anni Roenkae on Pexels.com

I’m feeling squiggly, which is how I describe the roiling of depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia. Not a full-on meltdown, just a constant, gnawing sense that I’m not okay or something out there isn’t right. It insists on receiving my attention, or at least won’t let me focus on anything else in a sustained, meaningful way.

I’m so fucking over dealing with depression and anxiety. Saw Dr. Liz today, and we’ve adjusted my meds. Because I haven’t leveled out on a therapeutic dosage yet, I’m not well.

“You have a chemical imbalance. When the chemicals are in order, you will feel much better. You will have more energy. You are okay. Breathe deeply, exhale completely, repeat.” I can tell myself this until the cows come home, but it doesn’t change the way I feel today.

Photo by Jan Koetsier on Pexels.com

Published by Sara

I'm middle-aged, mother of two adult sons, and a wife. I've been a teacher, counselor, medical transcriptionist, student teacher supervisor, substitute teacher and now I work in retail. File that under life takes many twists and turns one cannot predict!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: