Shallow breaths are all I need. Feeling hungry is satisfying. If I can take in tiny sips of air and spend most of the daytime feeling the effects of eating a minimal amount of food, I can almost disappear. Just a slip of person, thin as paper. No matter my physical weight, I nearly disappear.Continue reading “Paper Thin”
Tag Archives: Mental health
Wishful & Wistly
Always, it seems, an echo of wistfulness reverberates in my soul to which I assign sadness and loneliness. It occurs to me now, though, that the best course may be to uncouple this sensation from depression. Experiencing wistfulness doesn’t have to be negative. Perhaps nostalgic is a more apt synonym than melancholy. Wistful vs nostalgic.Continue reading “Wishful & Wistly”
The Purpose of My Purpose
I’m still here, damn it, purpose identified or not; so what’s the plan? How long has it been since I set out to discover a sense of meaning for this next chapter of my life? Feels like it’s been plenty of time, but nothing has materialized, no opportunity to set a course defined by aContinue reading “The Purpose of My Purpose”
And Then…
Plans, goals, attitude, expectations. Pep talk to self in an effort to spur motivation and commitment. Judging my daily abilities against an aspirational mental picture. Comparing achievements of others with my own sad state of affairs. Suspiciously evaluating my behaviors, or lack thereof, for honest effort versus laziness. And then, I spend a terribly painfulContinue reading “And Then…”
Not So Great Expectations
Update on searching for a purpose: I’ve been working to accept that chronic illness and pain are here to stay and affect everything. I am leaving the past behind, so thankful that I was relatively healthy for so many years. It may be putting the horse before the cart, but I’ve made plans to getContinue reading “Not So Great Expectations”
Do You Mind?
Ease my mind. Practice mindfulness Keep in mind. Mind your manners. Mind the till. Playing mind games. On my mind Mind over matter My mind is racing. Mind your own business. Pay him no mind. I don’t mind. He’s got a sharp mind. In my mind’s eye. She has a mind of her own. TheContinue reading “Do You Mind?”
Tonight Will Be Better
Insomnia. Not just sleep interrupted by trips to the kitchen or bathroom, now I’m talking about hours tossing and turning, in addition to waking up for the day at 4 or 5 am for no particular reason. As many as three naps a day does not even things out, maybe even more discombobulated upon waking.Continue reading “Tonight Will Be Better”
Declaration of Peace
The cease fire of the armed conflict with myself outlines mutually agreed upon obligations. Both parties consent to: Disarmament to include insults, both real and imagined, self-doubt, pessimistic outlook, and any other efforts to injure. Revisiting the past will focus only on positive memories. Negative events are deleted and no longer available for review. BreathingContinue reading “Declaration of Peace”
Sparkle
My latest consideration in search of a new life purpose is spurred by a memory. My family has lived in the same home for 20 years. Living on a cul-de-sac, even a long one, for a couple decades, you get to know your neighbors, especially our little slice of heaven. We’ve had progressive dinners, streetContinue reading “Sparkle”
High Anxiety
I tried to go to the store. My husband has continued to work, some days from home and a couple a week in the office. I’m no longer working in my essential position as a grocery store clerk/cashier because my doctor advised me not to be out in public until the virus is resolved, whateverContinue reading “High Anxiety”
SurvivingSara 