SurvivingSara

Tag: life

  • I Want to Change My Thinking but I Don’t Know How

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Am I bitter? Miserable? Dejected? Stuck? Right now I’m thinking I shouldn’t even write this because who wants to read someone who feels sorry for themself? I don’t want to be these things but I don’t know how to change. No need for memes to tell me how important it is that I face my…

  • Lordy, Lordy

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Rambling & more Irritability? I got some. Blessings? An abundance. I want to live in the blessings, like sitting in the middle of a field of tulips, enjoying each gorgeous color. That’s not working for me presently. AAAAAAaaaaargh!!! I do have positive things happening in my life and will share them but first I have…

  • In My Days

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    I’m alone in my days in sun and shadow longer than 24 it seems one behind another. The fog’s inside making familiar foreign slowing traffic hiding words. Holding tight tripping up falling more lying down. In my days light and dark staying still letting go.

  • Letting Go

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Trigger warning: depression, suicidal thinking If you’re reading this, thanks for hanging out. I’m beginning again again. Opagque darkness has been visited upon me this past month, following a family upheaval. The spiral down was quick and steep, maybe because it’s so familiar. This time though, I got closer than I have ever been. On…

  • Parent is Also a Verb 3/14/23

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Parent is a verb – until it’s not. At some point, the light turns red. Stop. Your job is done whether it feels like it or not, whether or not the results meet your expectations. Over the teen years, the parenting light should turn yellow. Our sons and daughters should be gaining independence all their…

  • Who Dat?

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Falling. Falling. Falling. Vertigo, loss of balance, leg weakness, trembling, tripping, collapsing, losing my place in space. Bumping, bruising, knocking, whacking, breaking. This past week, I got out of bed around midnight to use the bathroom. After taking a few steps and feeling unstable, I stood still. Planted both feet flat on the floor. Still,…

  • Good Day to You, Sir

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Don’t know what kind of funk I’m in but I think SurvivingSara.net will be quiet for some time. It’s not that I chose a break. It chose me. I really think I’ll be back on here but I have no idea when. I think of you, people who’ve taken the time to read one post…

  • Merry Christmas ’22

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Despite not finding this holiday season very merry, I do wish for others an abundance of love, belonging, comfort and cheer. Whether with family or friends, hopefully you have a warm day, literally and figuratively. I’m unwell, we didn’t decorate because the year of remodeling and mother-in-law moving in have exhausted all of us. We…

  • This is the New Loo!

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    If you’ve been following along, I am happy to present my remodeled bathroom! Still lighting and electrical to address but I am now using my beautiful little spa. First a look back at “before.” My tiny box of a shower hiding behind that partial wall, a dark, low-ceilinged closet. Now, beautiful tile, higher ceiling, grab…

  • Parent is Also a Verb 12/5/22

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    LESS IS MORE, I PROMISE! When my children were young, they were given many gifts. When you take into account grandparents, aunts & uncles, mom & dad and, of course, Santa; the number of presents under the tree seems to increase exponentially as Christmas nears. Little ones are teased by the accumulation. When can we…

  • Watching the Machinery Break Down

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Can you imagine how proud the farmer pictured was? This equipment was built in 1938 and looks like it’s of good use. Would you expect that piece of machinery to be running still in 2022? If you could get the engine started, its performance, if any, would certainly not compare with the earlier years. My…

  • Parent is Also a Verb 11/28/22

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Candy canes and popcorn chains Ribbons and bows with pretty boxes below What does your Christmas look like? Do you have family traditions from your childhood you’re now incorporating into the individual, couple, or all-in-with-kids Christmas you’re designing? Or not. Intentionally free of those reminders? Hanukkah? Kwanzaa? Doing your own thing? I propose that having…

  • Happy Thanksgiving!

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Thankful. Receiving blessings. Acknowledging what’s good and right in our lives. I am most thankful for my family and friends, Their love sustains me. I am grateful for our dog, my constant companion. Having food to eat, a warm house, operating vehicles, medical insurance, a comfortable bed, and a safe neighborhood make me one of…

  • What Would You Like?

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Caesar, chef, spinach, chopped, taco, spring…..salad! I love some good greens as a side or as the meal itself. How about a store-bought garlic roll requiring just a couple minutes in the microwave? You must pick one salad and one brand of rolls. Do you want to eat those two foods over & over &…

  • What’s Up, Doc?

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    All right, readers; I’m going to do my best to to write about anything except fibromyalgia, depression, or suicide in the coming weeks. Those that follow along will know I’ve been preoccupied with an unsuccessful medication switch and return to original. Back to where I was at the beginning of September, I’ll appreciate the pain…

  • Whoop, There It Is

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Warning: This post includes discussion of suicide. If you need help, call 988 to speak with a mental health professional right now. This tattoo was a symbol of choosing life when I committed to my first real ink art in November of 2021. Suicidal ideation has been a close companion daily for many years, and…

  • This Is It

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    In some cases, the difficult questions do eventually cul-de-sac into answers, whether we like them or not. One of my most challenging quests has been to find relief for my fibromyalgia. Is there anything out there that will address the whole enchilada? The answer has become quite clear. No more wondering or searching. This chronic…

  • ‘We wake up and take the indicated action.’ 

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Christina Applegate has multiple sclerosis. She’s had it for a while. In an article, (link below) she spoke briefly about her experience since being diagnosed. The quote above shares a perspective of one of her M.S. friends. “…It’s been a tough road. But as we all know, the road keeps going. Unless some a**hole blocks…

  • Searching for Peace

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Caution: Frank discussion of suicide. If you need help, call 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to speak to mental health professionals. She danced and traveled. She was an accomplished psychiatric nurse and author. A searcher, she was seeking answers, solutions, alternatives. She provided support, encouragement, friendship and love to more people than we’ll ever know.…

  • Ashley

    —

    by

    Sara Z
    in

    Sensitive post w/discussion about suicide. My friend & fellow blogger, Ashley Peterson, isn’t with us anymore and I’m so damn sad. She befriended me in my early blog days three years ago. She (I don’t want to use past tense) was amazing. Her website is mentalhealthathome.org. She wrote posts and books, did movie reviews, shared…