Watching the Machinery Break Down

Can you imagine how proud the farmer pictured was? This equipment was built in 1938 and looks like it’s of good use. Would you expect that piece of machinery to be running still in 2022? If you could get the engine started, its performance, if any, would certainly not compare with the earlier years.

My mom was born in 1938. She’s 84 and tired. I’m not saying my mom is going through her end stage. I’m pretty sure, though, that she’s on the path there. Aren’t we all for that matter?

When experiencing the death of a loved one, so many emotions and thoughts move with you through those final weeks or days, if you’re blessed to know ahead of time that you are losing a family member or friend. Something that struck me in the final days of my dad’s life reappeared for me yesterday. I’m not saying my mom is down to her final months, weeks or days. Who knows?

One of the perspectives that I saw was the very literal break down of the machinery. The parts are worn out, acknowledgement that one is moving into a new phase of life, the end, whether it will last a short time or long, and the functional capabilities of a dying person collapse as the stopping of one part affects another. I don’t mean this in a sick, macabre way, but seeing the machine break down is fascinating. Yes, at the same time it’s so painful and sad; but when you come up for air, witnessing the process is as meaningful as you make it for them or you.

Hold a hand, smooth lotion over hands and arms. My sister sang favorite hymns to our grandma when she was near the end. Play the music they love. Be open to communicating about what’s happening. Yes, it is very hard to speak about what’s occurring; but the needs of the loved one outweighs your comfort or discomfort. Even if you’re nervous or fearful, sit beside the one who is fading. Provide them with much love and comfort as they make the journey. Don’t let them feel alone and scared.

p.s. I know I pledged to avoid fibro or ? (can’t remember the other thing) for a while. This is not a post about fibro but another downer maybe, if that’s how someone takes it. I have three or four not-sad posts started as drafts. It is my plan to post a couple of those before Christmas. We shall see.

p.p.s. Apologies if this post doesn’t flow smoothly. My brain is not at 100% these days. I’ve been having trouble telling right from left lately, for crying out loud. To prevent confusion, I am reminded that my wedding ring is on my left. Okay, okay. That’s just a couple of sentences about fibro and that’s just if you’ve read all the way through.