Tag: chronic pain
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Write Out
It seems as though we will have a white Christmas in my neck of the woods. My illness and pain are causing a white out in my brain. Tried to begin writing a PAV (Parent is Also a Verb) post but I’m unable and nothing else pops into mind. One of these days.
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Fibro Sick
Beyond the pain, fibromyalgia can usher in so many other issues. Today, I am what I call “fibro sick.” Fatigue crashed over me like a big wave yesterday at 10:30 a.m. Nausea and loss of balance are nearly constant. I’m bothered by odd smells; living in a cold winter clime, somewhat closed in for the…
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Surviving Sara’s Ramblings
About those updates I’ve promised previously: Bright Line Eating: Ugh. Don’t ask. I ate mostly french fries and milkshakes following my tooth extraction and I never really got back to my concerted effort to minimize flour and avoid most processed sugars, coffee creamer excepted. The holidays are here, which doesn’t really change a thing in…
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No More
***This post contains coarse language and isn’t meant for very young people or those with a delicate sensibility.*** Had a massage appointment yesterday. I’ve been seeing the same massage guy for five years, so we’re pretty confortable with each other by now. In the morning, I told my husband I really wasn’t looking forward to…
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On Brokenness
Weak, breathing slow and shallow. Certain no one will see me, surprised each time someone reads me here. No longer a good daughter, sister, friend. Letting it all go. It doesn’t matter who I was or what I did. Shedding every bit of that. What’s left? Acceptance. Gotta work on that. When the prettiness turns…
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Color Me Free
With 70’s hits playing the soundtrack of my life ages five to 15 and candles lit, I closed my eyes to relax, breathe, and meditate without calling it meditation. It took some time to settle and convince my dog this wasn’t a new game. I allowed memories to trip along and float by as music…
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It’s a Chemical Breakdown
Our bodies are mostly made of hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. How amazing that these elements combine in numerous and seemingly miraculous combinations. In the brain, researchers believe there are more than 100 neurotransmitters, chemical messengers of information. Eight of them are most common and include adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, histamine and endorphins. Major…
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I See Dirt
A reliable indicator of mental health improvement for me has always been the ability to see dirt. In the depths of major depression, I couldn’t give a rat’s behind if housekeeping chores get done. Well, imagine what effect that has over the course of two years. My husband does the best he can but he’s…
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I Love Ya, Tomorrow
Dear Reader; Apply sarcasm or we could go with facetious. Could even be satirical considering some past posts I’ve done. You choose.😉 Personally, I’m going with unintentional satire. Tomorrow, regardless of intensity of pain, how rotten the nausea or heavy the fatigue, I am going to: Do 30 minutes of stretching like I did five…
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Strategic Existentialism
I’ve been running from myself so long, no wonder I’m exhausted. Two years into disabling illness, one ability hasn’t left me. I run in an unending mental marathon, but I can’t escape my broken mind and body. I’m with me wherever I go. Because my perspective on personal circumstances has proved untrustworthy in the past,…
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Through the Wringer
What a week it’s been. Whew. Over the last several days, excruciating pain plus symptoms of shaking, temperature dysregulation, sweating, nausea, vomiting, confusion, and uncontrollable tears have wrung me dry. A week ago, following a tooth extraction by an oral surgeon, I was in bad shape; I did have oxycodone prescribed and it helped, a…
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It’s Just Me
Wow, I’m having a tough time. I first was thinking I shouldn’t write this. Why put this out there? Wah, wah, wah. But then I thought that mood is how I’m feeling, and maybe there’s someone out there who would feel even a little less lonely if I publish a post reflective of my difficulties.…
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After the Ink
Reggie drew up a beautiful tattoo for me, not as uptight as the original little bouquet of wildflowers I considered but not as loose and abstract as Chihuly glass. (He did keep moving his mask up & it kept sliding down. They had good “mask required” signage. Everyone in the shop wore them, including customers.)…
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Countdown: 3 Days
New tattoo being inked on Sunday, October 24th! When the tattoo studio manager called to confirm my upcoming appointment, he asked if I had reference photos. Apparently, the first email they requested back in August didn’t land in the correct inbox. I was, actually, relieved. I’ve given my new tattoo a lot of thought since…
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We Have a Winner!
Dear Reader, You may want to read the previous post, “A New No,” before this one, but not required in order to enjoy! ~ Sara When friends and family extend invitations, I’m excited about the prospect of a get-together, a barbecue, or birthday drinks. Immediately, I think about what I’ll wear, a major concern following…
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Bright Lines
Okay, okay, okay. I call do-over. I can do that. That’s one of the rules you agreed to when you followed my blog….just kidding. I am in a mood today. I wrote the post below last Friday, October 1st. I’ve thought a lot about this topic in the past five days. If you are interested,…
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Core Strength
I worry that I’m not strong enough in the face of chronic pain and illness because I’m no longer working and haven’t been walking or doing yoga. Tightening my core muscles for more than a few minutes or walking less than a hundred yards causes my back muscles to spasm in a way I describe…
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Smile!
Imagine, if you will, that you have a terrible toothache. When you awoke, it was just a fleeting sensation, like foil on a filling, when you drank your coffee and ate some breakfast. You remind yourself to take acetaminophen, get some more numbing gel, and call for an appointment with your dentist. Once at work,…
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Declaration of Peace
The cease fire of the armed conflict with myself outlines mutually agreed upon obligations. Both parties consent to: Disarmament to include insults, both real and imagined, self-doubt, pessimistic outlook, and any other efforts to injure. Revisiting the past will focus only on positive memories. Negative events are deleted and no longer available for review. Breathing…
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Maybe I Am OK
An epiphany just hit me upside the head. Being strong in my pain and limitations does not require I never speak of my circumstances or shed tears, only that my joy for the experiences and enthusiasm of others is not diminished. What a relief.
SurvivingSara 