SurvivingSara

Author: Sara Z

  • Essential

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    Sara Z
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    I must say, I would be excellent at staying home. I do it whenever I get a chance. I would be able to sit on the deck for sunshine and fresh air. I’d get the yard borders ready for some planting later this spring. But, no, I’m essential; even though I don’t think that’s the…

  • Just Not Right Now

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    Sara Z
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    Beautiful day but not too warm. I did get my husband to hang this sign I got last fall. Only after, did I realize the irony. I don’t think I can fathom yet what it’s going to be like through, and after, the next few months.

  • Strange New World

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    Sara Z
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    Working retail gives me a front row seat to the impact the coronavirus is having on our community. For the most part, people in my area seem to have calmed down. No more lines down the aisles. Most items back in stock with the exception of toilet paper, hand soap, thermometers, etc. Customers with whom…

  • It’s Gonna Be A Bumpy Ride

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    Sara Z
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    Working in the home and garden department of a large grocery store, I interact with probably 75-100 customers and coworkers each day. I cashier, handling more money than you might think people still use. I’ve accepted I will, most likely, be exposed to the coronavirus. Echinacea, black elderberry syrup, and astralagus are herbal supplements I…

  • Uneven and Twisted

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    Sara Z
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    I am anxious about the coronavirus, especially because I work retail, handling cash. I’d like to see people use only plastic to pay for things, so we don’t have to touch money and pass it along. Went to my chiropractor and got straightened out. (If only it were that easy.) My left shoulder was elevated…

  • Up and Down

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    Sara Z
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    Although I want my blog to be positive, uplifting, and encouraging; I don’t always feel that. I haven’t written anything in the past few days because I’m struggling. A serious outside stressor has come to my attention. It doesn’t directly involve me. There’s nothing I can do to affect the outcome. One of my adult…

  • It Is What It Is

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    Sara Z
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    Started with a new doctor this week. As she palpated my neck and shoulders, she said, ” You need a massage.” I replied, “I had one yesterday.” The look on her face! That’s fibromyalgia. I wore a corset of pain around my ribcage for a day. That’s fibromyalgia. Today I had to leave work after…

  • Riding the Waves

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    Sara Z
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    No longer in the darkness that enveloped me last November, I feel like the two things I have to work on right now are being okay with being okay and not reacting to every wave in life as though it’s a tsunami. In the midst of a major depressive episode, every ripple in the waters…

  • Tigers, ‘Niners, and Crosses, oh my!

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    Sara Z
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    My sister-in-law’s 52nd birthday is today, but she’s not here to celebrate. At age 50, she passed away from ALS, a cruel disease. She loved NASCAR and Bon Jovi. She was a major 49’ers fan and I so wish she’d seen this last season. Her home was decorated with crosses and pictures of her daughter,…

  • Looking for Trouble

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    Sara Z
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    My mind is swirling, searching through situations currently occurring in my life, trying to find something worrisome to grab like the brass ring at a carousel. Not working today, a massage is scheduled for this afternoon. I should get busy doing stuff around the house, but I feel really tired. I fret about all the…

  • Night Moves

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    Sara Z
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    Awakened by my bladder around 3:00 a.m., I rolled out of bed, trying not to step on our blue heeler who sleeps either stretched out head-to-toe between my husband and I or right next to my side on the floor, just where my feet are inclined to land. This happens nightly, so it’s routine. This…

  • Hope

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    Sara Z
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    Three months ago today, I wrote a suicide note and gathered the necessary supplies. Still here though. Fortunate to have a great psychiatric practitioner and very supportive family and friends, my depression is under control and I’m no longer having any suicidal thinking. If you’re depressed, feeling hopeless and helpless, please reach out to someone.…

  • All those years

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    Sara Z
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    When my sons graduated in 2016 and 2017, we celebrated with friends and family at our place. We live in a school district where some parents ordered food trucks for their parties. Ours were more DYI, so I tried to add special touches using pictures and memoribilia that spanned the boys’ lives. Following the festivities…

  • Oh, Happy Day!

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    Sara Z
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    A visit to my chiropractor and a day of rest, my body has responded well. Not apprehensive about working a full shift today. I do wear really good shoes with orthotic inserts. So glad I won’t have to be faking it when customers ask how I’m doing, which they do in surprisingly high numbers. 😃…

  • Independence

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    Sara Z
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    After graduating from college with a Bachelor’s degree in education, in June of 1986, I interviewed with a few small school districts in the area. One interview panel asked if I would move to their little town or if I’d commute from my hometown, a much bigger city of about 300,000. I answered, “Oh, I…

  • A Wreck

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    When my mom asked where my pain is, my answer was lengthy. After a bit she texted, asking if I’d been in a wreck. I told her it sure feels like I’ve been in a wreck but it was just a session in the dental chair. I made it through the whole shift today, which…

  • Pain!

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    Sara Z
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    Two hours into work, and I’m lighted headed, dizzy, and have occasional, severe, cramping pain at the base of my neck. The pain is much worse on my left side – face, ribs, back, hip, leg and foot. I have an intermittent, sharp, pain like a needle poking me on the left side of my…

  • Day 2 Fibromyalgia flare

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    Sara Z
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    Upon waking this a.m., my ribs and sternum hurt badly; it hurts to breathe. I have pain in my shoulders, wrists, and temples. I probably smell like a drugstore because my husband covered my back with mentholated CBD cream and I’ve applied it to my abdomen, ribs, sternum, jaws and temples. My husband helps me…

  • What a fibromyalgia episode feels like for me

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    Sara Z
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    I don’t intend this to be a whiny post, but the fact that I would need to clarify that lets you know it’s probably going to sound whiny. I’m experiencing the most severe symptoms I’ve had in a long time. Thank God. It’s actually been one of my longest breaks between serious flare ups. My…

  • Leftovers

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    Sara Z
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    I am so anxious this morning. I’m thinking it must be left over from yesterday. I work today and tomorrow. I’m going to breathe and try to. Be fully present. When I have anxiety, real anxiety, more than just an uncomfortable feeling, my mind starts searching for the source. I mentality page through the catalogue…