Although I want my blog to be positive, uplifting, and encouraging; I don’t always feel that. I haven’t written anything in the past few days because I’m struggling.
A serious outside stressor has come to my attention. It doesn’t directly involve me. There’s nothing I can do to affect the outcome. One of my adult sons is going through a challenging time, and my husband is helping him sort it. Still I find it very difficult to separate myself.
The stress takes up residence throughout my body. Headache, aching wrists and hips, pain down one leg, and a new symptom of weakness in both legs, fibromyalgia is not helpful. I was reading more about the condition and came across the description of dysphagia. The muscles in the throat coordinate in complex ways to swallow, and fibromyalgia interferes with this process. For a few years now, I’ve had difficulty with swallowing and getting some words out while talking, words that require my tongue pushing against the roof of my mouth, but had no idea it was connected to fibro. Why I’d not come across this in all of my previous reading on the subject, I have no idea.
Today is a day off and then I work three days in a row. My goal for this day is to deliberately focus on relaxing my muscles. I’m starting with my toes and traveling up through my body, all the way to my head, and then back down.
I’m also reading a new book, “The Healing Pendulum in the Matrix; My Way to Simply Being” by Anna Maria Winklehner. Reading it slowly and re-reading, I am drawn to the positive self-talk including, “I allow myself to be full of love for myself,” “I’m doing my best and that is enough,” as well as a focus on gratefulness to God, “Thank you for healing power and healing on all levels of my being.” She refers to “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle, which has already been instrumental to my journey and is a good reminder.
“Fall down – get up – adjust crown – move on.” Sandra Klengler