Times Such as These

This is gonna be a short one. Wasn’t going to write at all today but gotta capture the thought while it’s still within my grasp, mentally and physically. which is a concern. For example, yesterday I had two pair or reading glasses but now I have none.

Surviving Sara is sometimes about choices I make that don’t necessarily pan out well and this post nails that. The woman in the picture above, I get it. I’m in the middle of a project, no time to go the workbench across the room. It’ll work this way. I only need the nail to go in a little bit.

As far as controlling pain following surgery for a spiral fracture of my fibula, the medical staff stressed the importance of sticking with pain meds regularly for a while. Well, my last experience with opioids was horrible, so I want to wean off as soon as I can. I have a worthy purpose for stretching out doses and quitting.

Today’s circumstances are that I haven’t had much sleep since 3 a.m today, worst night sleep in a looong time. I’ve been waking up to find myself not only talking in my sleep but talking with my hands in my slumber, performing whatever task I needed to do in the dream. Wakes me up. The edge between sleep and wakefulness is not well defined. I do attribute these things to being under general anesthesia five days ago and I’m quite hopeful they’ll fade.

Here’s where Surviving Sara’s logic for integrating information and real world circumstances collide.

1. Last night was the worst night of sleep I’ve had in ages. Tossing and turning. Scootering between bed and bath. My brain recognizes this and begins planning what I can do differently tonight.

2. Completely apart from those considerations, I decide this would be a good day to try spacing out pain medication dosages because my ankle/leg pain has been fairly well-managed so far.

Fast foward just shy of six hours, and I’ve got baaad pain. Had to suck it up until prescription pain relief was onboard. It was during this waiting time that I had a lightbulb moment. It became clear to me that spontaneously reducing pain meds less than a week post surgery, no less following a really horrible night of sleep, was not a good idea.

And the chorus of friends and family shake their heads and laugh, “Oh, for fuck’s sake. When will she learn?” I am working on mindfulness, mainly using the word more often. I will hold firm that the slowdown in my thinking and processing is the result of increased thoughful contemplation, certainly not an indicator of aging.

In addition to a front row seat to fibromyalgia and depression, here is the perfect post to illustrate what else Surviving Sara looks like. If you’ve read this far, you are Surviving Sara, too, Thanks so much for experiencing life with me, checking out one post or 100.

p.s. I had a Valentine’s Day post but didn’t get around to finishing and publishing it. Hope to blog more consistently as spring pushes petals up through the soil, frozen and icy not so long ago. Those pansies are some tough plants.