For years, I’d prided myself on being able to satisfy my sweet tooth, primarily a chocolate tooth, with a square or two of a candy bar. One cookie was enough for me to feel indulged.
Over time, I began to have a little bit of chocolate and then a little bit more. In the early 2000’s, I knew I’d found the right therapist when one of my first homework assignments was to procure myself some high-quality dark chocolate; I didn’t waste a minute, driving straight from her office to a specialty candy shop.
Somewhere along the way, I lost control. One handful of chocolates was followed by another later, and no concern was given to quality. A couple of cookies were okay, but another one would really be good. Eventually, I was writing ‘chocolate’ at the top of every grocery list. Fasting blood sugars were fine, which I interpreted as permission to keep gobbling my favorite sweet treats.
A couple weeks ago, I didn’t put chocolate on the list and my husband didn’t buy any. Honestly, I was nervous about foregoing my evening intake, but I survived!
And then, something completely unexpected occurred. Over the course of the past few days, I’ve felt my mood improving. The change has been so subtle I was afraid it was fleeting. Each day, though, I’ve laughed more, been in my head less, and had more interest and energy. I wasn’t cutting back on cookies and candies to ameliorate depression; regardless, that seems to be exactly what’s happening since I greatly decreased my intake of processed sugar. Oh, that this were not so, but my body agrees with nutritional science.
As days have passed, my craving for daily sweets has lessened. I’m no longer putting chocolate at the top of my list. I hope I’ll be able to enjoy just a square or two of dark chocolate someday. For now, I don’t trust myself to have it in the house. I’ve told my sons and husband for years that nobody’s gonna be happy in this house unless I have chocolate. Turns out the opposite may be true.
SurvivingSara 