Unwell

Here I am again, feeling like shit. Fibromyalgia is like a short circuit in your nervous system. When things line up just right, like a lightbulb coming on when you position the damaged cord just so or your phone charging only after much tilting and toggling the charge cord in the port of your phone, I sometimes feel pretty okay.

But you bump that cord and lose connection. Recoiling immediately, you might get lucky and have it restored. More likely, you’ve dislodged it more, and now it’s not charging at all.

With fibromyalgia, you never know when you’re going to find that sweet spot where you get to remember what “normal” felt like. I spend most of my days thinking if I just try hard enough to align everything, I’ll get a good connection. One day stretching will help so I’m able to complete a task, the next day I’m too nauseous or fatigued to get out of bed, and the next day, I’m able to get to some of my to-do list. Any plans made are dependent on how I’ll feel that day.

A couple days ago, I had two good days in a row, so I redecorated and rearranged my living room. My husband did the heavy stuff, but I took down all the decor, managed furniture placement, and then reworked my decor in new ways. Currently, no pun intended, the short circuit has the whole system going haywire. I am sicker with fibro than I’ve ever been. It includes all of me.

I’m watching stand up comedy, hoping for some endorphins. I’ve given myself permission to not post for a while, even if good ideas float through my brain.