SurvivingSara

Tag: family

  • Mom’s Dead a Year

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    Sara Z
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    Flowers speak to my soul. I love them. I show love for others with them frequently. Beautiful arrangements delivered to doorsteps are such a sweet surprise that lasts for a couple weeks (hopefully). I take time choosing one particular combination for a special person, hoping the smile I get from giving them is shared across…

  • Note to Selves

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    Sara Z
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    To my high school self, class of 1982: You are enough. Even though your next older sister is a gorgeous cheerleader and model and you get so tired of hearing about it but, girl, you are so pretty. Only difference is she went to modeling school and you didn’t. Guys who compare you to her…

  • The Future Is Here – 2025

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    Sara Z
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    Well, someone’s vision for 2025 exceeded reality – unless you’ve been somewhere that looks like the above rendering. Not my city and surrounding population of about 500,000. We’re still bouncing along pothole-ridden streets like driving in a Mario Brothers video. One could almost conclude that the artist imagines the future will start in New Jersey,…

  • Gen Gen

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    Sara Z
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    Recently, my husband was shocked to learn that I’m a baby boomer. Well, my birth year is the last year of boomers, so I get it. We were talking with our two young adult sons about the names of the various ages when it came up. I’ve never heard of the “Builders” generation but I…

  • Parent is Also a Verb 12/16/24

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    Sara Z
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    Your child needs you to be the parent, not a friend. Of course, this meme is an exaggeration of a valid point. A parent does not need to be a diligent detective on 24/7, looking for lies or mistakes. In fact, that would be counterproductive to raising an independent adult who makes decisions based on…

  • Til Death Do Us Part – or You Vote for Trump?

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    Sara Z
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    Since the election, I have been purposefully avoiding media coverage of the president-elect and his incoming administration. Headlines pass in my newsfeed regarding all aspects of the subject and I confess it’s like driving by a bad car wreck; I cover my eyes but peek between fingers. Mere glances at my news feed and past…

  • Parent is Also a Verb (11/27/24)

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    Sara Z
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    Growing kids up – What’s the goal? On TV just now, a mother said, “I just want my kids to be happy.” This strikes a nerve, similar to parents being friends with their children. Parents should definitely not be friends with their kids. More about that another time. What about the end game for parenting?…

  • Welcome to the Hotel California

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    Sara Z
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    On a snowy night in winter of 1976, my family gathered around in the living room of our brick-red house on Country Homes Boulevard to listen to the latest album by the Eagles. As the youngest, I sat on the lime-green shag carpet. The last album I’d been excited about was The Bay City Rollers…

  • Having A Birthday

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    Sara Z
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    Six decades. Not gonna lie, freaking out a bit. In a blink of an eye, I’m old. Oh, I know it’s the new 50 and 50 is the new 40 – is that still a thing? I know I’m old because I remember being 20, 30, and even 40, thinking 60 is old. When I…

  • Easy as 1-2-3

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    Sara Z
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    How many times have people with fibromyalgia or other chronic, invisible illnesses been told that feeling better is just down to a better outlook on themselves and life? Explaining the complexities involved in fibro is perceived as whining, exactly what they’re talking about! So, I’ve decided to test the theory. Can ignoring, dismissing, and love-bombing…

  • I Didn’t Even Buy a Ticket

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    Sara Z
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    Well, I’ve been on quite a ride this winter/spring, and I didn’t have to wait in line. It’s not one I recommend. I am really tired of rollercoasters, and this one had only downhill twists and turns with just a short flattening between. I’ve been alternatively nauseous, scared, and screaming. My mom’s health declined rapidly…

  • A Mother of a Summer

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    Sara Z
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    Daylight savings time in a northern state makes for long days. When I get up in the ‘night’ to use the bathroom, the sun is peeking, and the birds are telling each other “good morning;” and, well, you know what they say about those early birds. Once my eyes open at 5-6 a.m., my brain…

  • I Surrender

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    Sara Z
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    As the mom of two sons and no daughters, I now officially give up on Mother’s Day. I’ve been waiting for an unexpected, sweet celebration for 26 years. I’m a slow learner. In the early years, I was so excited! Would there be flowers? An outing as a family? It went without saying that my…

  • Good Grief

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    Sara Z
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    If someone who’s loved dies, who qualifies to grieve? Is grief only for devastating, unexpected loss? Or reserved for tragedy that takes a young person too early? If an elderly person dies, do their loved ones have a limit to how long or deep their grief? Dictionary Data from Oxford Languages grief [ɡrēf] grief (noun) So, who…

  • On Loss

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    Sara Z
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    Hello. I’ve been gone for months. It’s been a very difficult time. My elderly mother’s condition declined over the course of a year. She died 3/13/24. I’m not adding anymore info because she wouldn’t want me to put her out there. She was one of the most private people I know. When my dad passed…

  • Mother

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    Sara Z
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    “About driving…I want to talk about that,” my mom said, as I settled myself next to her hospital bed in a position to clip her fingernails. “I can’t drive,” I replied. “Oh, you can too drive, Sara!” “Well, yes, I can physically get into our car and drive it but I’ve given up driving because…

  • Ein Jahr

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    Sara Z
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    Well, it’s been a year since my German mother-in-law moved in with us. I wrote a few posts in the summer of ’22 describing my dread. There are many reasons why I thought my home would be rocked by the new roommate, and the tears I shed would’ve filled many steins. Here we are in…

  • Lordy, Lordy

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    Sara Z
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    Rambling & more Irritability? I got some. Blessings? An abundance. I want to live in the blessings, like sitting in the middle of a field of tulips, enjoying each gorgeous color. That’s not working for me presently. AAAAAAaaaaargh!!! I do have positive things happening in my life and will share them but first I have…

  • Letting Go

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    Sara Z
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    Trigger warning: depression, suicidal thinking If you’re reading this, thanks for hanging out. I’m beginning again again. Opagque darkness has been visited upon me this past month, following a family upheaval. The spiral down was quick and steep, maybe because it’s so familiar. This time though, I got closer than I have ever been. On…

  • Parent is Also a Verb 3/14/23

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    Sara Z
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    Parent is a verb – until it’s not. At some point, the light turns red. Stop. Your job is done whether it feels like it or not, whether or not the results meet your expectations. Over the teen years, the parenting light should turn yellow. Our sons and daughters should be gaining independence all their…