SurvivingSara

Category: Uncategorized

  • Dream a Little Dream

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    Sara Z
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    Detailed, emotional dreams play in my night theater. Frequently, the plays have a theme, one to another night to night for a few days. No matter the characters or plot involved, I don’t quite belong. Sometimes I’m keeping a secret that would result in loss of esteem were it exposed. Other times. I skirt the…

  • Parent is Also a Verb 7/29/22

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    Sara Z
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    Do you want your children to always be honest with you? Do you, or will you, tell them that they can discuss anything with you, that your home is a safe place to share difficult situations? Be careful what you ask for. At bedtime, when our kids were young, I’d sing a ditty of my…

  • I Feel the Earth Move Under My Feet

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    Sara Z
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    In 2021, our younger son, let’s call him Bob, was living with us while he went to school and worked. Late in the year, I’m not sure which came first, the older son, let’s call him Joe, asking to move back in after a couple years piy on his own or Bob announcing he was…

  • Stirred Up & Inside Out

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    Sara Z
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    I’m standing at the kitchen counter cutting up an old credit card. My 24-year-old son is at the dining room table, working from home. He asks, “Do you need help?” I reply, “Me?” He says, “Yeah, it looks like you’re struggling.” To which I say, “I’m always struggling.” Good chuckle. Brain isn’t working, hasn’t been…

  • Do You Remember Me?

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    Sara Z
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    To my sons, There was a time I was active. We went on hikes after school, even though you couldn’t figure out “Why do we have to do this?” Watching out front when you went out to play in order to intercept fights with neighbors or general mischief. I did yardwork while you rode bikes…

  • 45+3

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    Sara Z
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    My mother-in-law sold her house, pending appraisal, less than a week after putting it on the market. There’s a 45-day escrow plus three days for moving. She’ll be relocating to our home immediately after Labor Day. The plan that was drawn up after the death of her husband in January is coming to fruition imminently.…

  • Haulin’ a Whole New Life

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    Sara Z
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    My mother-in-law listed her home Wednesday, July 13th. It’s located in middle California, east up a canyon from Bakersfield. She had one potential buyer come through this morning who is very interested, looking through the house twice this morning. It’s 11:30 a.m. PDT. Her house now has a few people looking, and she may benefit…

  • Hearing Hangover

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    Sara Z
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    Following my discouraging disability hearing yesterday, I yet felt weight move from my shoulders, down through my hands. I had my husband brush the negative energy down my arms and out my fingertips. Sleep was spotty with blurred edges. This morning I woke up at my usual time, about 7 am, and had a cup…

  • Hard of Hearing

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    Sara Z
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    The problem with having slow thinking, trouble expressing yourself, and difficulty focusing is trying to describe your situation and limitations effectively in a disability hearing with an administrative law judge. The hearing started with a medical expert who concluded I had no limittions. None. She referred to notes from my past therapist and more than…

  • Paper Thin

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    Sara Z
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    Shallow breaths are all I need. Feeling hungry is satisfying. If I can take in tiny sips of air and spend most of the daytime feeling the effects of eating a minimal amount of food, I can almost disappear. Just a slip of person, thin as paper. No matter my physical weight, I nearly disappear.…

  • A New Loo!

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    Sara Z
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    Fortunate to have three bathrooms, we are currently remodeling two. The primary bedroom has a three-quarter bath, while the daylight basement has a full one. The only lavatory not taken down to the studs is the full guest bath upstairs. For now, one of our adult sons lives in the downstairs but, so proud to…

  • Ramble Gamble

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    Sara Z
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    Rambling posts are a collection of thoughts I have that don’t warrant a post of their own. I also include personal life circumstances, usually near the end. Do you speak your mind? Are there folks with whom you avoid voicing your opinions? Is it a risk to share your thoughts? I find I keep many…

  • Parent is Also a Verb 6/30/22

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    Sara Z
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    Dedicated to my late dad on his birthday. My sons were both encouraged to sign up for sports and other interests they thought might be interesting. The older one preferred to achieve his personal best in track and cross-country, while the younger enjoyed competing on a team, including basketball and baseball. In the early years,…

  • ROE V WADE

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    Sara Z
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  • I Can’t Care

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    Sara Z
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    Recently, I shared that I have writer’s block. A draft was completed and I posted that, which felt good. Since then, I just can’t care about writing or blogging or connecting. I forget to even open SurvivingSara.net. I’m sick. This is a bad fibro flare. Stress about life events is heavy with no relief for…

  • Parent is Also a Verb 6/19/22

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    Sara Z
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    Happy Father’s Day! When my babies were very young and we lived in a cozy starter house, my husband parked his work van in the alley behind our yard at the end of his work day. More than once, I stood watching out the kitchen window, calling my husband on his cell phone when he…

  • Warriors

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    Sara Z
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    During the seven years I was living in the Mojave desert, the northern most reaches of Los Angeles County, the round trip back home each summer had become routine. In my early 20’s, I drove on I-5, the major north-south freeway on the west coast, avoiding two-lane highways that may cut drive time but would…

  • Slow Thinking

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    Sara Z
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    I’ve taken to sharing with people that I have cognitive difficulties when I have trouble in the midst of a conversation, usually about scheduling an appointment. A friend and fellow blogger, Ashley https://mentalhealthathome.org, used the phrase ‘slow thinking’ in her writing and I think I like it. This week, I’ve been seriously slow thinking. I’ve…

  • Rambling On

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    Sara Z
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    Hello, there! Here’s one of those posts where I share some random thoughts and ideas that do not warrant posts of their own. The process of moving my mother-in-law into our home continues. My husband is headed to her place for ten days, completing final preparations before it goes on the market. Yes, that’s right.…

  • If You Want Something Done…

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    Sara Z
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    After receiving a diagnosis of fibromyalgia in 2009, I accepted it as well as the repeated professional opinions that nothing could be done to address the situation. Huh, I’ve got a condition and the only advice I get is to deal with it. When fibro was googled, I found many check lists of symptoms, which…