I found a couple of journal entries I missed. At first I thought I’d just skip them, but then I thought it’s pretty illustrative of how hard it is for me to keep my ducks in a row when I’m depressed. So, I’m adding them out of order. As written on 12/29: I feel overwhelmedContinue reading “Journal 12/29”
In chapter two, I describe in detail what depression feels like for me. The next chapter will probably not be published until I have a day off. I welcome feedback about how I’ve structured my blog and recommendations for changes.
Being new to blogging, I now realize publishing chapters on a separate page may not be the most effective way to share them. When I add a chapter, I’ll put up a post describing what the chapter is about and providing a place for comments or questions. In chapter one, I describe the shorter versionContinue reading “Chapter One”
Worked today and will work the next two days. Three days in a row probably doesn’t sound like much to most people, but it’s my first three day stretch since my leave of absence. It occurred to me this morning that people who’ve lost a loved one to a brain aneurysm might be really offendedContinue reading “Journal 1/6 – Taking care of yourself”
I got my blog up and running over the past two days. I’m energized by the process, which is something I can really use right now. I saw Dr. Liz on Friday. I told her I felt like I was getting worse instead of better. She said that’s not uncommon but she’s confident I willContinue reading “Journal 1/5/20”
I feel dizzy and weak. I’m trying not to be suicidal, so instead I’m wishing for a brain aneurysm or a terminal illness.
That second day of work really kicked my ass. I spent several hours helping in the busiest part of our company, and by the end of the day I was anxious and near tears, but I held on. I rested on Christmas Eve day. On Christmas Day, we took things at a relaxed pace inContinue reading “Journal 12/27”
My writing is in a notebook currently and I’ve mixed journal entries and chapters. I just realized I’d failed to include the complete entry for 12/10, so here it is. My husband opened up to a friend about what he’s been going through. I asked if he’d told everything. He said, “Yeah, the whole thing.Continue reading “Journal 12/10 part two”
The Christmas party on Friday went well. I started back to work yesterday and it was okay. I was really nervous about coworkers’ reactions and about helping customers. I hoped I could talk without crying – and I did! It felt like a really long day, after being away for nearly a month. Back atContinue reading “Journal 12/23”
I’m going back to work on Sunday, 12/22, and I’m very nervous. Tomorrow night is my husband’s company Christmas party. That will be good practice to make sure I can talk without crying. We have a room at the hotel where the party is being held, so I’m planning to attend only the dinner andContinue reading “Journal 12/19”