After watching nearly all of the trial and with the jurors working toward the verdict, I felt certain the only decision possible was guilty. Been there before, though. More than once. Waiting on pins and needles with millions, I was afraid to hope for justice.
I joined in the collective sigh across the nation, maybe the world, when the judge read the jurors’ findings. What a relief that the person who murdered George Floyd was found guilty. I watched people react and listened as individuals shared what this outcome meant for them.
The next day, I continued to feel unsettled. Given my struggles with depression and anxiety, this isn’t a rare occurrence. This felt different. Images of the end of George Floyd’s life, the protests last summer, the trial, the verdict, and George Floyd Square in front of Cup Foods rolled over in my mind.
Disappointment and sorrow were the result. Yes, there was relief. How has our country come to this though, where we’re afraid to get our hopes up for a guilty verdict after the amazing prosecution case was followed by a weak defense and the star witness of the trial was the video? If we were confident that our justice system is functioning properly, there would have been no question. Mulling this over, the weight became heavier when news of another shooting of a black teenager by a white cop occurred almost immediately while people were still engaging in the absurd proclamation that this one case going the right way meant there’s been a change. This is just the beginning of the beginning.