It Took 29 Years to Get Here

On 2/29/92 at 2:29, I married my husband. I was 27 and he was 21, and we’d been dating for three years; I’ll let you do the math. We got married in Las Vegas because my family was in Washington State and his is all in California. We found a beautiful little chapel months ahead and had 50 guests. A very fun wedding weekend it was!

No Leap Day this year, but we’re celebrating our 29th anniversary today, February 28th. This was my parents’ wedding anniversary and they were fortunate to celebrate 60 years together before my dad passed. My oldest sister has been married 40 years and my middle sister for 34. Being married for decades doesn’t denote good luck or an easy path. It reflects a whole lot of communication, some compromise, and staying through those times you really don’t feel like it.

Young people getting married or committing to a forever partnership should know it’s okay to have days where you say to yourself, “I can’t believe I married this person? What was I thinking?” There have been very difficult episodes when I wasn’t sure if we’d make it, and we have spoken the word “divorce’as one of our options. I’ve had serious health challenges that have worn both of us down. There’s never been abuse and I wouldn’t have stayed if there was, and our marriage has not been tested by infidelity.

Take the long view during tense or horrible times if you can. Be partners on the same team as much as you can instead of keeping score. Find ways to laugh a lot, especially when you’re on the rocks, diffusing tension. Explore new things together, even if you have to argue while getting ready or packing the car. Say “I love you” everyday; and when you’re frustrated, disappointed, desperately sad, remember why you said yes to life together. It’s taken us 29 years to get to today and, God willing, I hope to have another two or three decades with this man on this journey.

Published by Sara, short reads

I'm a middle-aged wife and mother of two adult sons. I've been a teacher, counselor, medical transcriptionist, student teacher supervisor, substitute teacher and retail clerk. Staying home now due to fibromyalgia. Seeking purpose.

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