SurvivingSara

Tag: coping

  • Mom’s Dead a Year

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    Sara Z
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    Flowers speak to my soul. I love them. I show love for others with them frequently. Beautiful arrangements delivered to doorsteps are such a sweet surprise that lasts for a couple weeks (hopefully). I take time choosing one particular combination for a special person, hoping the smile I get from giving them is shared across…

  • Some things

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    Sara Z
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    The new year started with my plan to boycott all news because it made me so ill. Politics, fires, dismantling of the government by unelected and unqualified unknowns, climate change effects in real time, and the return to the highest office in the land of an orange man who claims to be the king. Much…

  • Note to Selves

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    Sara Z
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    To my high school self, class of 1982: You are enough. Even though your next older sister is a gorgeous cheerleader and model and you get so tired of hearing about it but, girl, you are so pretty. Only difference is she went to modeling school and you didn’t. Guys who compare you to her…

  • Don’t Should on Me

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    Sara Z
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    All day, every day, for all my adult life, I’ve been “should-ing” on myself. Whether I realized it or not, the tape was running in the background of my mind constantly. I should: Every day tasks became increasingly difficult as aches, pains, cramps, dizziness, and nausea took up residence. But I should… Even as my…

  • Magical Acceptance

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    Sara Z
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    or is it just that I’ve recovered from my trip to Puerto Vallarta? A few days ago, my struggle with acceptance hit a brick wall; I was there. I’ve suffered with fibromyalgia for a few decades now with severely deteriorating health over the past five years, increasingly debilitating and isolating to the point of being…

  • Puerto Vallarta

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    Sara Z
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    What a beautiful view we have from our bedroom at Casa Mis Rocas, the airbnb rented by our friend Larry. The rest of the group had been staying at a resort, Paradise Village, just to the west of downtown Puerto Vallarta, so we were the last to arrive. The others were standing out on the…

  • Desperately Seeking Pain Relief

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    Sara Z
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    I’m not a doctor, but I’ve been playing one in real life, my own, since I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2009. At the time, I was doing the doctor shuffle each year as my husband’s insurance through work changed carriers. When I finally settled on one, it happened to be one who based her…

  • An Alphabet Whirlwind

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    Sara Z
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    All the letters used to be under control in my head. Growing up, if I saw words, I could usually spell them correctly just like that. When I needed to work it out, looking up to the right would help me put it in context and come up with letters falling into place effortlessly. Truth…

  • The Future Is Here – 2025

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    Sara Z
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    Well, someone’s vision for 2025 exceeded reality – unless you’ve been somewhere that looks like the above rendering. Not my city and surrounding population of about 500,000. We’re still bouncing along pothole-ridden streets like driving in a Mario Brothers video. One could almost conclude that the artist imagines the future will start in New Jersey,…

  • My Small Life

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    Sara Z
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    Choosing to live my life graciously seems to escape my grasp. Each time I feel it at my fingertips, when a few days at a time occur where I believe I’ve established stability at a livable level, I’m optimistic that I can “make this life work and like it.” Then, I wake up only one…

  • Parent is Also a Verb 12/16/24

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    Sara Z
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    Your child needs you to be the parent, not a friend. Of course, this meme is an exaggeration of a valid point. A parent does not need to be a diligent detective on 24/7, looking for lies or mistakes. In fact, that would be counterproductive to raising an independent adult who makes decisions based on…

  • After Careful Consideration…

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    Sara Z
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    46 years of research, exploration, and experience qualify me as my own best expert in fibromyalgia. Having to educate your primary physician in symptomotology (if they’re willing) is not unusual among fibro patients. Counseling is highly recommended and it’s been invaluable for me. One piece of advice I’ve heard and read about is the importance…

  • The Life-Changing to The Petty

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    Sara Z
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    Trigger warning: whining Lord, grant me the grace to accept things I must, the strength to tolerate events and people I’d rather not, and infinite mercy to hold my tongue and smile instead of releasing the snark. My life feels small. I understand that most people don’t have lives that have unfolded as planned. Life…

  • Throwing in the Towel

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    Sara Z
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    Despite starting 12 posts in the last few months, I’ve been unable to finish and post any. I’m giving myself permission to write a short missive, so I can complete something. One symptom of fibromyalgia is “brain fog,” during which times concentration, word finding, processing information, etc. take a break. They’re just not there and…

  • I Didn’t Even Buy a Ticket

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    Sara Z
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    Well, I’ve been on quite a ride this winter/spring, and I didn’t have to wait in line. It’s not one I recommend. I am really tired of rollercoasters, and this one had only downhill twists and turns with just a short flattening between. I’ve been alternatively nauseous, scared, and screaming. My mom’s health declined rapidly…

  • To-Do List

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    Sara Z
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    It’s been a very difficult week with terrible fibromyalgia pain in my back, chest, and ribs as well as serious brain fog. I find I don’t have extra. Extra anything. Hopefully this to-do list will help me through some days. I hope this next week presents something pleasing for you.

  • Good Grief

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    Sara Z
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    If someone who’s loved dies, who qualifies to grieve? Is grief only for devastating, unexpected loss? Or reserved for tragedy that takes a young person too early? If an elderly person dies, do their loved ones have a limit to how long or deep their grief? Dictionary Data from Oxford Languages grief [ɡrēf] grief (noun) So, who…

  • To Be or Not To Be… Disabled On Acceptance

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    Sara Z
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    It’s official. I’m disabled. I’d already actually accepted that I am, and then the Social Security Administration agreed. Following an initial application denial and written appeal by me, a hearing with an administrative law judge who denied my claim in record time, my attorney encouraged me to appeal higher, to a 3-judge panel. That panel…

  • Oh, The Places I’ll Go in 2024… In My Mind

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    Sara Z
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    Fibro controls so many things in my life, but not everything.

  • Ein Jahr

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    Sara Z
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    Well, it’s been a year since my German mother-in-law moved in with us. I wrote a few posts in the summer of ’22 describing my dread. There are many reasons why I thought my home would be rocked by the new roommate, and the tears I shed would’ve filled many steins. Here we are in…