Journal 1/18

I’m actually in a good mood! I feel like maybe I’ve turned a corner, but I’ve felt like that previously. It also occurs to me that if you turn enough corners, you are going in circles. Going to enjoy this good mood though.

I’ve spent the past four days in bed. Yesterday, I told my husband I wanted to go visit my mom and go out to dinner. It was really good to see my mom, and the Mexican food we had was great. Somewhere during dinner, I felt something kind of loosen in my chest.

Afterwards, I had a messaging conversation with my cousin, who has also dealt with depression and suicidal thinking. I told her I’d gone to my mom’s and out to eat. I wrote “baby steps.” She replied that it was a big step to get out when I didn’t have to and I should not diminish it.

I work the next two days and am hopeful they will be easier to get through than last week.

Published by Sara

I'm middle-aged, mother of two adult sons, and a wife. I've been a teacher, counselor, medical transcriptionist, student teacher supervisor, substitute teacher and now I work in retail. File that under life takes many twists and turns one cannot predict!

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